TLDR: I’m (31F) not great at dating and tend to wind up with emotionally unavailable guys. I’m trying to identify better matches early on before getting invested, and I’m having trouble figuring out if the new guy (38M) I’m seeing is genuinely interested.
We matched on Bumble at the beginning of the month, talked for a while and then I asked if he wanted to get coffee. He said yes so we met and walked around for about 3 hours just talking. Ended the date with a hug and agreed to swap phone numbers, he said he really enjoyed my company and was happy to add me to his phone.
He texted the next day to ask when we could go out again. I suggested the next weekend. He started sending good morning texts and we talk a little each day, just casual “how was your day” texts. Then neither of us made plans, so I followed up on Friday to set up a date. We got dinner on Sunday, then walked around talking more. The date ended with another hug and he said “I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” but then he didn’t send a good morning text so I reached out first. He has sent good morning texts since then.
I asked again if he’s free this coming Friday or Saturday to get dinner again. He said “yeah sure thing!” He offered to go out again or he can cook me dinner, but then he didn’t pick a day.
I’m having trouble because I feel like I keep reaching out to make dates, which I don’t mind but also don’t want to pursue someone not interested. He enthusiastically agrees to dates, but is wishy washy about actually setting the day. He paid for both coffee and dinner before I could even offer to split the bill. He is usually quick to respond to texts.
I know he’s still active on bumble—I was showing his profile to a friend and noticed his location changed which only happens when you open the app. I’m not expecting exclusivity after 2 dates by any means. I’m still messaging and have a date with another guy that I’m thinking will be the last because I’m not getting “romantic” vibes from him. (I’ve never multi-dated before so it’s giving me a little anxiety.)
On both of our dates we talked about everything from hobbies, careers, to family. He shared a fair bit about his relationship with his dad, not as much his mom, I know how he interacts with his siblings. He’s sent me photos of his dogs a lot, and some renovations he’s done to his house.
I tend to jump into relationships too fast and then they fizzle so I’m trying to be much more intentional, conscientious, and make better choices.
Does it sound like his interested and I’m reading too much into things based on past experiences?
Thanks