Let me get this straight. I am 25(m) and when I was in high school, I had a girlfriend. But at the same time I was preparing for a competitive exam also I was facing some sort of distraction for my studies so I ghosted her(9years ago and counting…..). In a hope that after 1 year I will crack the exam and then I would approach her parents. But I couldn’t clear the exam I was trying for and went through depression and my ghosting continued.
And I have actually moved on in my life but never approached any girl after that.
Now I have a good job, I am doing good financially and so my parents asked me to think about my marriage and the word marriage strucked me like a lightning and I know I don’t want to. Since then I was having dream in my sleep and seeing my gf and like re-thinking about the first hug we had together. First time we held each others hand. The moment I think about it, my whole goes through chills and eyes filled with tears. I want to talk to her again.
I can arrange her phone number anyhow. But I don’t think she wants to talk to me and I know it’s my fault being such an idiot. But still I don’t want to loose her.
Can someone suggest me a way how can I approach her? What should I write or say when we will have our first conversation? I have low hopes but still I just want to talk to her once.Please someone help me.
3 comments
I’m sorry to say but there is a 99.9% chance she has moved on from this.
It’s more likely too late. I am sorry. All I can say is there is a MASSIVE difference between high school dating and adult dating. She has more than likely experienced adult dating, yet you have not. You are stuck in the high school phase.
She has grown up. She may even be married with kids by now. Sure you can reach out to her, ask her how her life is, maybe explain why you ghosted, but I wouldn’t expect more than that.
I think you really need to move on from this and try and date new people, but also people won’t wait forever. If you abandon/ghost them, they won’t wait around and its unfair to expect them to. If you want someone in your life, first rule of thumb is show them that you want them. Let that be a lesson learned.
Just say hey, how is life going, ect, like you would an old friend. It may freak her out to mention a relationship though as i mentioned, because she will have dated guys after you ghosted her and moved on. Best of luck and I hope you give dating new people a try.
You lost her nine years ago?? Why dont you send an apologetic message on social media and then let her decide whatever she wants to do.
You aren’t the same people anymore. All you can do is let her know you have matured and you are sorry, and ask her if she wants to meet for a coffee. If she says no move on. You are thinking about her because it’s the last time you felt that way, they aren’t real feelings.