what is the worst (Best) excuse to not go to work?

28 comments

1. Small penis

2. Poor impulse control.

3. horny

4. Being dead.

5. Dogs birthday

6. Ha. I called in today (texted). Didn’t need an excuse. I’ll just say, “ain’t coming in today boss”

7. Had to slay a dragon to rescue the princess

8. “Dog ate my reports”

9. Pink eye. Works every time and it always sparks the same reaction from people

10. I walked into work and said I changed my mind within 10 minutes of starting my shift lol

11. I got something in my Eye.

    ​

    …. I just couldn’t see going to work today.

12. Not living anymore

13. Had to poop.

14. Retired

15. I was a manager at KFC and on a Monday night I called him after a 30min no show.
    His GF picked up and nicely stated he was tied up (literally)and was being punished for forgetting there anniversary. She was also kind enough to send photos 😂.
    I gave him the night off. Called a replacement.
    I kept quiet about the reason he was unavailable.

16. My old job was extremely chill, you almost never got denied pto even if you asked only a day in advance. You could go home sick with pay whenever you wanted as long as you had enough sick time. I called my boss one morning about 5 minutes before work started and said, hey I don’t feel like coming in today. He said okay we you tomorrow! Lol I miss that job sometimes

17. Had a bit too much buffalo chicken dip last night

18. Used to work with a guy that would shit his pants to leave. If there was a basketball game or anything going on, he’d just shit his pants. Obviously no one wants him there with poopy pants but i can’t figure why he wouldn’t just lie about shitting his pants? He actually did it. Great excuse to leave and awful excuse to leave.

19. Dead.

20. i’m banging your mom

21. Like, a reason to justify to yourself? “I don’t want to and I have PTO/Sick time available”

    A reason to justify to your boss? Don’t gotta unless it’s short notice. Then you just say it’s medical.

22. “Hello, Boss? Yeah I’m sick. Sick of this shit” CLICK

23. If you have kids they have been up all night being sick and shitting through an eye of a needle.

24. Worst excuse is any lie. Best is any truth.

25. I feel dizzy

26. “I wish I could but I don’t want to”.

27. Jury duty. But not on Presidents’ Day

28. I remember one time my father purposely got his car stuck in a snow bank so he didn’t have to go to work