My GF says we don’t spend enough time together and there is a lack of intimacy (non- sexual):
So I’m a (25) year old male and my girlfriend is (22F) and we’ve been together for about 2 years now. I’m a gamer and a introvert with a very small social battery. After work I usually come home eat with her and talk for about 20-30 minutes with her. We live together and have since the 2nd month of being together. Our relationship until recently has been really good and we still go out occasionally and do things together. But every time I’m playing my game and she wants attention she expects me to immediately stop playing and spend time with her.And not like a simple come here for a second. Like just completely get off for the rest of the night. Which was like a good 6 hours away from going to bed for us. Now my computer is in the same room as our TV and where she occasionally does arts and crafts projects. But she mainly watches her shows after work. And we’ve even watched some series together. And we see each other all the time, sleep together, ect.. So for me that’s already a lot of spending time and being close to each other. Like we are literally 10 feet of that away from each other for the vast majority of the day except when we work. We both don’t separately go out and do things and I’ve tried to tell her to get into some more hobbies so I can enjoy my when I want to do it. Which is maybe like 4 days out of the week. Sometimes more but rarely as I get bored of gaming easily and lose interest occasionally.
So tonight which isn’t the first time but this time it’s really starting to get to me, she said it again “we aren’t spending enough time together”. And I kinda just sat there quietly and didn’t know how to respond because I’ve made an effort to go out and do things with her 4 times in the past 2 weeks. Went shopping yesterday with her. And spent practically the entire day 2 days ago with her watching TV and talking to her. We also cuddled for over an hour. Now I’m asli not super great at communicating due to the fact that I spent quite a few years alone. And I also should note this is my first serious relationship. I guess I’m just confused what else I can do. It’s not like I don’t take time to hang out with her. And I also don’t game everyday it’s not really a addiction before I get those comments. It’s just my form of release and decompression from work and life. And really my only hobby. So I came home today and started playing my game but I require a lot of alone time and still try to engage with what she’s doing while I play. Which is my way of still giving her attention without us both being on top of each other. We both are also insomniacs so up pretty late and sleep late into the day. So usually we get up right before work and then get home right around 9ish. And don’t sleep till about 7 a.m.. But it seems as if no matter how hard I try to balance both she just doesn’t seem to think I’m trying or we spend anytime together. Because I won’t immediately drop what I’m doing because she’s bored of her show. I require a lot less attention than she does which is what I think the main issue is and, we both see time spent together as different things.Sorry I’m going all over just really tired and sure I’ve left out some crucial information.
I guess you can say I’m at a crossroad of whether or not we are compatible. I’m just not a very over attentive type of person. And have spent 5/7 days within the last week with her. And today trying to play my game just to relax was a problem. Like I talked to her for a bit and didn’t brush her off. So I don’t see what’s wrong. And she’s been going through a depressive state and has had days she didn’t want bothered. And she said she gets why I’m so bad at communicating because of my past. Therefore she understands how I feel. But also seems to not quite actually understand I don’t really know how to explain it. And she expressed she doesn’t want to breakup but honestly I don’t know if it’s really fair for either of us at this point. She gets very easily irritated with me now which then dampens my mood. And I just need my personal time and space. Any advice would be appreciated. Especially from people in similar situations from either perspective. Or anyone with some insight as to what I can do to try to improve the situation or just end it.
—————————————————————————
TL;DR My gaming seems to be causing issues with my girlfriend, because she says we don’t spend enough time together. I try to make an effort but it’s not good enough. What can I do or should I say to try and fix this issue.