Hey everyone!! I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and we’ve had sex a handful of times. It’s been good but I really enjoy rough sex and want that with him. He’s agreed to this but I think his idea and my idea of rough are quite different. How would you go about asking him to be even rougher?
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> I think his idea and my idea of rough are quite different.
Okay, so talk about it and figure out where you differ on this so you can clarify what you want.
Yeah, a man that age is going to have more fixed ideas, if you can be specific with what you want, it will be much easier
We need an auto reply: “communicate with your partner” for a lot of inquiries on here.
It doesn’t seem your guy knows exactly what you mean by rough. Show him. There’s at least 2 billion free videos. Rough to one guy could mean a med-hard butt slap. To another, it’s choking you while wedging frickin lemons in your mouth until you’re drooling and red-eyed.
Men can’t read our minds.
Be specific. Make a list. Give examples. Then ask him if he’s willing to try it.
If he’s worried about hurting you, reassure him with encouragement and establish a safe word so he’ll be more comfortable. You can also vocalize what you want in the moment. In time he will either become more comfortable or you’ll discover he’s not in to getting too rough.
*pay no mind to the 21yr age gap tho*
normal healthy age gap.
If you’re not comfortable enough to speak to him openly about you want, i don’t think you should be having sex woth him.
Find a time when you two are alone and won’t be interrupted. Tell him that you love him and need to talk with him about something. Look him directly in the eye and tell him that you’d love it if (as a change of pace) he would be more physical with you and rougher during sex. Then, tell him why you’d enjoy this more. Does it makes you feel more desired, sexy, taken by him? Be specific with your reasoning. Then, specifically and directly tell him at least three things you would like/he could do. For ex, “I’d like it if you would pull my hair, push me against the wall, hold my hands above my head, pin my arms to the bed” whatever. Then, shut-up and really listen to his response. As a guy, we can be dense and lost when it comes to understanding what you really want. We are much better at following a list. So, just tell him, don’t leave him guessing. Good luck.