I feel like I missed a ship or sth. Never made any friends in school ( not without reason, the way I percieved the world and other people was quite selfish, callous and cruel). Now I’m in uni and try to change things around. I try joining student organisations, making some conversation with classmates etc. but it feels like people already have their friends and making new ones at this stage is something auxillary, more like getting acquaintances or connections than meaningful friendships (though I don’t think I have the experience to even comprehend / construe what an actual friendship is like). I guess it’s fine, I mean it’s probably the way things just are, people build their friend bases earlier in their lives. I also find it hard to socialize the more I see people being friendly with each other, especially in large groups ( I think it just emotionally sinks in what I have missed and it hurts / makes me feel sort of paralysed / intimidated / overwhelmed so I can’t really think clearly, the closer you get to the sun the more it dazes you i suppose). So, the final questions would be ” Should I keep up with it as I do now? ” and ” Is there anything wrong with my current approach or expectations?”.

1 comment
Leave a Reply
You May Also Like