I found out through my boyfriends previous Instagram activity which consisted of OF models and soft corn porn that what he finds visually appealing is the opposite of what I have to offer. He says he’s attracted to me, and our sex life is good although his libido has seemed to take a hit as of late, but I can’t shake the fear that he isn’t all that into me physically and wishes I looked different. It has made me extremely self conscious.
Does anyone have experience with this that can maybe shed some light on the situation? If someone isn’t of your preferred body type, can you still be extremely attracted to them?
TLDR boyfriend prefers a very different body type.
25 comments
It’s a mistake to think that your BF isn’t attracted to you based on his porn habit. Porn rarely equates to what people actually want for themselves IRL. Plenty of straight folks get turned on by gay porn, for example, and vice versa. Many people enjoy BDSM porn, yet would never dream of introducing it into their real-world sex life. Et cetera.
As for feeling insecure about your body type, in my experience straight men like ALL female bodies, and especially the one that happens to surround their current sex partner. Rest easy, since at 32 your BF is likely to be strongly attracted to your character and personality, in addition to your physical appearance.
Don’t worry.
Men have a very wide spectrum for body frame.
If you were really not his type he wouldn’t be with you.
I like baby face with big eyes and power girls with muscles. No logic I just like.
I watch porn that doesn’t align with reality, because it’s about the visual. Tangible and visual are different.
Have you experienced major body insecurities before? Were you raised in an environment that presented relationships as uncertain and quick to fail?
I have always preferred tall, lanky women. I then met my future wife , who is short and stocky, while I was dating two tall, lanky women, and I fell in love with her. My wife may not be my absolute preferred body type, but her body shape is just a minor part of who she is. In 4 more days, we will celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary, and I couldn’t be happier with who I have as a wife. And YES, I oh so desire my wife and am aroused by her. She is beautiful.
I’ll be blunt here.
My type is short, “fun colored” hair, tattooed girls with big boobs.
My last GF was the opposite. Tall, small boobs, no tattoos, basic hair color.
And guess who I was most attracted to? My GF. Sex was mindblowing with her, even better than with a girl who was completely my type.
The type of woman that catches my eye is a thinner, athletic frame, long brunette hair, and smaller chest like a b cup. My partner of 41 years is a curvy blonde, a little thicker with 42 D”s. I think she is the most beautiful woman on the planet.
Most men are attracted to women of a large number of different body types. But we know we can’t have one of each.
I once had a boyfriend who liked to tell me how I “wasn’t his physical preference” and being with him really destroyed my self-confidence. In hindsight, it truly wasn’t worth being with him when that was the price.
I too am a lover of soft corn porn.
By all objective measures, my wife should not be my type. We’ve been married for 30 years. I think she’s as attractive sexy as the day we met. Don’t allow your insecurities to sabotage your relationship. He’s with you for a reason.
My husband thought he liked smaller boobs until he met me and here we are 16 years later and he loves my body.
I have an “ideal body type” that my wife doesn’t check every single box of, same in reverse for her with me. She’s still the most attractive person on earth to me. Don’t read too much into it.
Speaking for myself, my wife is my preferred body type because of who she is. Another woman shaped like my wife isn’t the same thing.
Don’t get too hung up on it, he’s into you.
Unless he has explicitly told you that you aren’t his preferred body type, I think you’re just dealing with some insecurities and subconsciously comparing yourself to those he’s looking at online, which is normal. But you don’t need to look like them to be desired by him and what he sees online isn’t a direct indication of what he prefers in real life. He chose you for a reason and if he says he’s happy, you should believe him. His drive could have taken a dive for a number of other unrelated reasons.
You should just talk to him about it. Your risk of self-sabotaging increases the more you read replies from Reddit. People here love to overanalyze and overreact.
TALK. TO. HIM. It is entirely possible that what you think the common thing he finds attractive is, is way off.
What we like in porn is not reality real women will always win in the end
We’ve never really discussed it but my loving husband likes the Debi Mazar/Meagan Fox black haired blue eyed type tough girl type, punk or goth Latinas, and Suicide Girls with lots of tattoos. We are Gen X if you can’t tell. I am none of these things but it has never seemed to matter in terms of his attraction to me and he’s the most doting and loving husband. What I know is he loves ME specifically. I would try not to get upset over what you can’t control or overthink it. I also try not to be the “mind police” because he doesn’t need to know too much about what actor I might drool over in the privacy of my own brain, and I don’t want to control everything about him.
basically none of my husband’s exes look like me (them 5’4 100lb small boobs indie rockers vs me 5’10 200lbs large chest and hips). we’re hot and heavy for each other 15yrs on
is he stressed? has he started new medication? his libido change likes has nothing to do with you or your looks
He needs to stop watching that shit. It will tank his libido. And is not cool if your not cool with it especially .
I’m absolutely in love with my wife, she is my ride or die and no one could compare to that woman on her worst day.
That said, she is not my idea body type. She’s not even close.
It doesn’t matter.
I’m absolutely not my husband’s preferred body type. I’m short and fat, tattooed, pierced, bright hair, never wear makeup or do my nails. I have brown eyes, natural hair color was light brown I think?
His ideal would be athletic blonde who dresses nice, does makeup and hair, etc. I’m her opposite.
We’ve been together almost 27 years.
Doesn’t end well when they are addicted to porn and other women on social media. One day you wake up and they tell you they don’t want you anymore. And there’s nothing you can do but wonder why you’re never good enough. Ask me how I know.
No. Preferred body type != attraction for guys when it comes to love.
Also Porn category != preferred body type
Body type doesn’t matter when you are in love. And it is very much possible to be very attracted to your partner even if they are not the preferred body type.
I get where you’re coming from. I felt like that earlier in my life, mainly because my first real partner was a sex addict that reduced my worth to how “fuckable” I was. It was hard to get used to what’s healthy after that, because society ain’t helping women in that departement. The view that we have to be attractive is still very normalized, as if we’re not allowed to exist for ourselves first and foremost. We have to clear some sort of minimum of attractiveness, and that minimum is a moving goal post. “Once you’re pretty enough, you may exist in this space”.
I’m now with a man that makes me feel very loved and attractive in his eyes. We have a very open dialogue about both of our porn habits, and neither of us feel threatened by the other’s turn ons. We both understand that horny brain can go “that’s hot”, while the rest of your being entirely devoted to a partner, regardless of shape.
It’s actually reversed in this relationship. I’m his type and he’s not mine. But I’m very attracted to him and wouldn’t trade him for the world. If anything, that makes him exotic to me in a sense 😄