Me (M25) currently works as an MA & is going into the LVN program next year. I was talking to this girl (F25) & she works part time (15 hrs a week), lives with parents who do real estate. I try to motivate her & talk to her about interests & what she wants to do with her life. She doesn’t know. Gets upset when I bring it up every couple of months. Says I’m trying to “put myself above her” every time I have these conversations. She has no credit (I think), no real job, no car payment, family pays for phone, no rent. As for myself I have a car payment, decent job, decent credit & help mom with bills. I come from a single parent household so I had to grow up quick to help with younger siblings. I grew up struggling so I know what I want for my future. However, I do like this girl. But I don’t know if anything will ever change. She says she doesn’t want a man to take care of her but a lot of things aren’t clicking. There is no drive or motivation to want more. Is she content? Idk. I’m assuming this way of thinking is from her parents. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt because I know some people are “late bloomers.” We all don’t have it figured out in every area of our lives. But I feel like at 25, you should have at least an idea of what your interests are. Am I overthinking ? Am I being harsh?
7 comments
Went through this a while back. No, she will not change. A lot of females are lazy and don’t work on themselves as long as they know another guy out there will give them sexual attention. It is what it is. You have to decide if you want to be with a bum.
To ME it’s a red flag. I’m on the same boat as you and think by 25 you should at least have an established goal that you are actively working towards.
I’m going to ignore the misogynist here. She may get her act together, but that something for someone in her future to benefit from. Right now you aren’t on the same page and that’s reason enough not to pursue this relationship.
You can’t teach work ethic regardless of sex. Sorry bro what you see is what you’re most likely going to get.
You’re wasting your time and attention on someone who clearly isn’t a good fit for you.
I think you’re just on different paths. Do you want to wait for her to figure it out and potentially never do, or not?
If you feel the person you’re dating should be more stable at 25 then go out and find them instead.
I dont know if you’re being harsh or not, im biased at 24 and have nothing together so i would approach this with more empathy, but thats me. You don’t have to be mean about it but you’re allowed to not like it.
Motivation is attractive, so understandable that her not matching you level is wearing on you. Both of you are still living at home, so no need to be on your high horse either.
It all comes down to how much time you want to invest in this relationship, with the potential for her not to change. You can’t change her, so you’ll have to wait until she actually wants to do this.