My (31M) crush is gone..? (31F)
My life was never the best, 7yr n a abusive relationship .. Last year he was gone. Anyway short story, I got a new job that I completely LOVE and I meet this customer. He visit the store a few times.. first two days he visited me and stay for hours there making me company. If I take my lunch we go together to the food court and we seat and talk about us and trying to know each other. I discovered that we are very similar and for the first time in years I was feeling happy and smiling like a teenager when they meet their first love. Since I work n a videogame store he mentioned that he was looking for a old game and casually I own that game. So I texted him and I said “I have your game I am at work so if you want to come by and grab the game” he wen to my store and spend probably 4h there with me. I closed the store at 7:30pm because is the time that I closed. And since I can be inside the store cuz the alarms 🤣 we spend since 7:30 until maybe 10pm talking outside and covering us from the rain 💁🏼♀️ He told me he have to be at his friends but he don’t want to leave me alone etc so I said to him that is ok and that if he wants to leave I was ok with that but he stayed there until it was 10pm. He told me that he was going to a Retro convention and I said that I would love to go but I am not used to go to this places alone (my abuser was always with me so going by myself it was kinda difficult .. he told me to go with him. We went there and I had a lot of fun because everything from that convention is about things that we like! He even bought me a plushie that he knew I like it! We went there at 9am and we left at 2pm because he wasn’t feeling good which is fine and I understand. We went back n the train and I was tired cuz I woke up early so I was using his arm as a pillow, he was ok with that. Sometimes I was holding his wrist when I was trying to show him something at the convention and he was ok he never said anything bad. Once we back I didn’t heard a text of anything so I text him saying “if I did something that bother you I am sorry, I am just very excited that I out having fun and meeting people and making friends” he said that everything was fine..After that day(Oct 14th) I didn’t see him again. I tried to hang out.. trying to text him.. he seen my stories on instagram but anytime I ask if he wants to eat or do something he is busy.. he respond every 10h or maybe next day? Two days ago I said to watch the new Five Nights at Freddies and he said “what day” and I said to him that anytime he wants I will be available. After that he didn’t respond. Yesterday I said I will be off early from work and I will be at the mall with my parrot, he sometimes ask about how is my parrot.. so I said to him that he can meet my parrot today.. I was waiting.. he didn’t showed up so I left. He send me a text saying that he had a problem at work and that he was sorry. My respond was this one
“if I’m honest…I already know you are avoiding me. I was doing my best not to let it affect me this type of things but I don’t understand why it hurts so much when is about you. I don’t understand. Normally I wouldn’t care but I keep asking myself the same question. I know you are a very busy person and I am sorry. It’s been fun seeing you those days tho! Anyway, take care”
He responded with
“I understand how you would feel that way, I won’t bother you anymore either. My job has definitely ruined my life in more ways than one. Take care.”
So after thinking about it I responded to him with my last text which I think was the cause that he is gone.
“Listen hear you little booger. I don’t want you to disappear from my shitty life or leave me alone. Keep this in your mind. You never bother me and you are an amazing person. Don’t say you suck because it’s not true. You don’t know how hard it is to meet someone as cool and hardworking as you.
You don’t know how difficult it is to find a person like you”
After that, I saw he unfollowed me from my parrot account. He never responded to that text. And when he unfollowed my account I had deactivated my personal Instagram, cuz I was upset because he didn’t showed up. So he wasn’t able to unfollow me in that one since it was gone. I activated again my Instagram just to know if he is going to unfollow me there too.. I just think I fuck it up with everything and I scared him. I just don’t know how to act if I see him again. I won’t stop crying.