I’m turning 40 in February. I’m depressed trouble finding the positive in my life

14 comments

1. have you attempted dating? if so, what’s it been like?

2. I had my son at 41. But he was my second and I’ve been married to my wife a while.

   If you want to be a father you have plenty of time, but there’s a ton of shit that goes along with it man. It ain’t all sunshine and lollipops.

   The first question you need to figure out is why you’re single? There’s tons of 30 something ladies out there that still want to have a family.

3. My uncle had his 7th child at 46. A coworker had his 3rd at 53.

   Another got married at 43 and had twins at 44.

4. Hell I’ll be 40 sooner than that, and yeah, I know the feeling. I have no answers… Any chance you’re an uncle? Or an uncle to some friends’ with kids?

5. Adopt some cats. Cats are much better than having kids.

6. Is having a partner or offspring that is the stronger pull? If it is offspring, consider fostering or adopting as a single Dad. The need is huge. Some kids in the foster system looking for a forever home actually would do better in a single Dad home. It is common for these kiddos to have issues with women/moms.

7. First serious relationship after I turned 40. Joined OK Cupid a year later, met my future wife at 41, first kid 2.5 years later and another 2.5 after that. I was in the same boat, I wanted to be a dad, and worked towards that. I’m so lucky and blessed in so many ways, but you make your own luck to some degree. Found someone’s little younger who wanted kids and was committed to the prospect. And we meshed.

8. Many people have become fathers after the age of 40. But before you take that step, would you have gone into why you want to be a dad so much? What is it that makes you feel “doomed” if you are childless?

   I ask sincerely without malice: Is it a milestone set by society that one must bear child by a certain age? Is it because friends and aquaintances have passed through that social rite?

   Understanding the reason that makes you depressed on not having children may help. It could even be something deeper that may not be resolved by having a child.

   Either way, though, all the best for the way forward.

9. You have to think that you have to work longer than your retirement age in order to support your child and wife

10. If you really want to have kids, you could always import a wife. Kidding only slightly.

11. I feel you, I’m 45 and nothing to show for it, no wife, no kids. Its honestly hard not to feel like it’s all passed me by already. I hope you can find a way to make it work for you.

12. Robert De Niro just had a baby this year and he’s like 217 years old.

13. It’s over man…..

14. I am not a man, but I just got married to my 41yo husband in June. I’m 31. He has no kids and has never been married previously. I am currently pregnant with his first child, my 2nd child. Have hope for the future and things will find a way.