My ex came from an affectionate family. I didn’t. I used to be very distant but now I hug my family/friends upon greeting and departure and it feels weird when I don’t.

27 comments
  1. You can have many things in common and be terrible for each other. Unconditional love may be real but is not always healthy.

  2. – Trust, honesty, respect, and loyalty are a one-way street, apparently
    – There is no treasure in that forest (don’t go digging for that gold)
    – Women are one pump chumps (seriously they’re tired after 20min I’m still waiting to finish. She’s already rolled over, panting, and needs Gatorade saying she’s dizzy and can’t move. What about my needs?)
    – They never return the favor after they orgasm (I should have just turned on the porn)
    – Communication isn’t something they are good at (they do well in English and writing yet they suck at communicating)
    – Lying is common among them
    – Many are problem drinkers (they’re always at the bar or the club or out for drinks no matter what)
    – Emotional abuse is worse than physical

  3. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be THAT hard. With my wife I found everything (doing things for her, buying her flowers, taking care of our dog, taking care of her while she was fighting cancer, being a better person/friend/husband) to be easy, nothing was forced, and chores didn’t feel like chore-ture because I was doing them for and with someone I love.

  4. She taught me how to look out for those that only do for themselves and think for themselves and not the ones they “claim” to love and are dedicated to. She taught me how to notice toxic behaviors like hers very early on.

  5. My “worst” ex taught me a lot. The two most important things:

    1. Don’t date someone who isn’t their own person. This ex of mine is the type of person who has no personality of her own and she basically becomes a clone of the personality of whomever she’s living with. When we met, she was a miniature version of her mom because she was living at home. When she moved in with me, she slowly turned into me. She just didn’t have much to her own self.

    2. Don’t date someone who refuses to work and offer nothing else. While I have no problem with a more traditional relationship where I work and she takes care of the home (because god knows I hate doing certain household tasks) but each person needs to contribute SOMETHING. This ex of mine told me she’d help out around the house until she could find work, but she gave up looking after about two months and just started going on “vacation” to visit her parents who had over away for their retirement. She’d just leave on a whim and be gone for months meanwhile I was continuing to pay for everything she was doing while she was with them and still paying for all of the expenses of our own household on top of doing all the house chores because they have to get done and I’m not living in a sty.

  6. Nothing mayor really. Only likes and dislikes of women in general in relationships

  7. So much. One of the things very relevant right now would be a conversation we had about marriage and kids. I asked her as a woman of faith, would she stay married just for the kids. Her reply was no and I remember it catching me off guard given all her other values. She went on to explain and of course, I disagreed but as it turned out, she was right.

    I’m Grateful to have met her. To this day, decades later, her words are a voice of reason in my head. There isn’t one single thing that stands out on its own. She was just full of wisdom and warmth at such a young age. An unforgettable human being. I hope she is doing well and I want to tell her that she has never been forgotten. And that I appreciate my experience with her. Truly thankful.

  8. To be forgiving and move on without anguish, leaving with respect for him despite how things ended.

  9. How to dress well.

    Now I use what she taught me to attract and have sex with other women 😉

  10. I’m feeling absolutely devastated by the ending of my marriage, but: my soon-to-be-ex-husband has taught me that there are truly evil people in the world, and that boundaries must be drawn (and enforced) in relationships.

    Throughout our entire marriage, I always handled 99% of the chores and household responsibilities, and 100% of the mental load. For over half the marriage, I also brought home all the bacon. While also simultaneously dealing with chemotherapy, monthly immunotherapy infusions, and annual surgeries for my autoimmune disease. During all nine years, he also had serious anger and hoarding issues, and for the first five years, a substantial drinking problem. And for the past five years, he was also chronically unemployed and financially irresponsible.

    I handed him a beautiful life on a silver platter, and he squandered it time and again.

    Never again will I date/partner up with someone who just takes, takes, and takes without giving much (if anything) in return, and I will do my utmost to avoid people who treat me like dirt.

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