I’m chronically single at this point, 26 years old and only had one date in my life which was 6 years ago.
Talking with a friend the other night after a few beers about relationships etc (he’s 28 and has a wife) and talking about hard it is to date when you don’t want to use apps etc and play the field so to speak offline.
He told me a lot of stuff I disagree with that boils down to
“will it into existence, doesn’t matter if you’re unattractive”
“Be yourself and it’ll happen when you don’t expect it“
I found both those things upsetting and counterproductive.
After telling him this he suggested I read 48 laws of power and watch lectures on “game”
31 comments
I’ll let you know when I’ve experience being on one 😂 maybe we can compare stories
Literally most of the dating advice is so awful, I had to learn through trial and error, with the added bonus that I’m autistic so yeah, dating has been fun
Probably when they say women don’t care about looks (as much as men). No, they fucking care. They’re actually just more selective all around. Same thing with money. Don’t listen to that bullshit.
On the other hand, best advice is confidence. You’ve got to just become secure in yourself and not worry what people think of you.
“just shave it bro!” Dating life was dead yet I had every other box checked besides the most superficial one…my looks. It was a hard pill to swallow but once I got a hair transplant my dating life got better.
I think the “be yourself and it’ll happen when you don’t expect it” is true, but it’s something that is a whole lot more true for women than it is for men. Or just, it’s true if being yourself makes people willing to make the first move. If that’s the only advice you follow as a guy, you’re not gonna get far.
“Don’t seek it. It’ll happen when you least expect it.”
**It never did.**
I’m M 53 and coming off a second divorce, so even the two relationships I THOUGHT would last didnt. So my answer would be pick your platitude:
There’s someone for everyone.
There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Love yourself first!
Etc. Etc.
Hope it gets better.
I’m so confused by this post. You say you need advise, but you are asking for the worst advise? 😂
The “Be Yourself” advice is really cliche and honestly needs to have a disclaimer attached to it. It should be more like: “Be the most confident, interesting, fun, adventurous, goal driven, well groomed, well dressed, socially adjusted and not needy/clingy/weird Version of Yourself”. I honestly hate when people give out that advice and say it in a vague way. If being yourself means acting in a way that women don’t like, then you still will find yourself single.
Will it into existence doesn’t work. Lol
Coming from a guy who can get dates. It’s not us at this point or woman it’s just society in general. We all have unrealistic expectations. No one is willing to give it a shot with who is in from of them.
“Be yourself, it will happen when you don’t expect it” is for above average looking people.
If I were you, I’d get out there more.
Maybe meet someone at church? Generally Christian women date to marry, and can easily lead to having a happy family.
You could also try apps BUT avoid hook up culture (Unless you’re into it ig). If you want an actual relationship, though, I would mention that in the bio AND do not give in if a woman wants to hook up on the first date. Give yourself some time, and I’d say wait at least 3 months to lose your virginity to a woman from a dating app. Also, be skeptical of certain women and just keep yourself safe!
Good luck!
Be yourself is the worst advice. Being confident in yourself is the best advice. I can’t fake confidence. People can detect Your feelings
“Why not try Birkenstocks instead of combat boots?” (My mom).
You want “Single guys” giving you their “worst dating advice”… WWF? I understand you want to relate to single guys that get bad advice… But that’s the “misery loves company” theory. If you said “guys successful with women, what’s the best advice you can give for someone that can use good advice”…. Maybe you’d get something that can help you!
“Be an asshole at times. They will get bored of you without an argument.”
That person was a stranger to me and just handed that wild bit out of no where.
That only 10% of all men get all the matches. Why get up in the morning with this state of mind. It may be like that or not, you still can find somebody who loves you.
That looks don’t matter. It’s the most bullshit and politically correct advice you get mostly from women.
How does one will a GF into existence? Do I squint real hard, pinch my nose, wiggle my ears, and fart and she’ll magically appear before me?
“Looks dont matter”
They might not to some, but they sure get you in the door.
Most of the dating “advice” given are very generic and not tailored to the person asking for advice. Also, they only tend to work for people who are given the privilege of individuality, which is white people. Rest of others are seen through the lens of stereotypes.
“Don’t approach women at {gym, street, grocery store, bar, yoga class, etc}.”
Complete opposite is true. If you see someone attractive, go talk to them politely.
Worst advice I have ever received was to just ignore women who were interested in me. Unless you resemble Chris Hemsworth this tactic is a guaranteed way to lose any woman who is interested in you.
Just assume all women have self esteem issues. That helps me approach women a lot. And all women have self esteem issues.
48 laws of power is the stupidest book I’ve ever read and anyone who recommends that should be slapped
“Follow your heart”
Nobody robs us of more joy in our lives than ourselves.
Some guy told me that you need to date multiple women at once and make it obvious so that other women think you’re in high demand and will go for you.
I then thought I did not want to listen to that guy.
“Just be confident.”
I don’t think people realise that confidence isn’t an ingrained trait. It needs to be taught and encouraged by others, like empathy or self-esteem.
“If you stop looking for it, it’ll happen.”
Yep. I made a million pounds last year because I stopped going to work. Finally mastered the guitar as well because I stopped practising. Do people hear themselves when they say this?
That first dates should be dinner dates and the men is expected to pay everything.
Once I changed my view of first dates to being low key coffee/drinks dates with an open end to allow things to develop (and it was natural that expenses were shared) the success rate of dating exploded
Why don’t you want to use online dating?
That love can fix inadequate penis/vagina compatibility.
“You just need to get out of your shell, talk with more girls and be more social. Talk to more girls.”
Easier said than done for a lot of us average dudes of average build with average or below average bank accounts! Some of us just need a good friend or wingman to watch out for us and I don’t know… maybe introduce us to a girl or two. Is that too much to ask?
We are not all social butterflies. I never liked people that much to tell you the truth. Still have trust issues & may be (I don’t know???) still dealing with trauma from things that happened to me that were out of my control when I was young. Like dealing with being ganged up on and bullied in high school after my two best friends moved away.
I dunno man… I am a pretty strong person who provides for myself, stands up for what’s right and helps anyone who needs help. Good luck never seems to come my way when it comes to meeting a fantastic girl in my age range who lives nearby, is single and ready to mingle though.
I have always been aware I am a hopeless romantic & a late bloomer. I often sell myself short sadly when I know a lot of women would probably love to spend time with a guy like me.
The dating world is so impersonal and it really sucks nowadays. I long for the old world I grew up in where we were actually part of a small tight knit community, people talked with their neighbors and we played outside with friends all the time and just had a ball.
I wish I had been more outgoing & hit it & quit it when I was younger. Lol If I could give any young man advice it would be to just go for it in regards to women and not be shy or wary of rejection. In other words don’t be like I was when I was young with my trust issues and avoidance issues.
A lot of hot girls had crushes on me in high school probably cuz I seemed aloof, lonely and mysterious albeit inherently good natured, which of course I was all of those things. 🙂