In the past few months, my partner and I, who have been in a relationship for over three years (our family and friends all know we’re headed to marriage eventually), have each been invited to a wedding. The thing that bothers both of us is that he is specifically not invited to the one I am invited to, and I am specifically not invited to the one he’s invited to. Both of us have met both brides. Both of us have asked for clarification about our invitation and been met with, “the guest list is already set” or “we’re only doing a few +1s, for spouses.”
My first question is just, how common is it for people to not include “+1“ options in invitations, even for guests who they know are in a relationship?
My second question is, for the wedding I’m invited to, is it okay for me to express my disappointment to my friend, the bride, that “my person,” one of the 2 most important people in my life, can’t come with me to see a couple who he has also met and likes get married?
5 comments
1) It’s pretty common for single (unmarried) guests to not get a +1, especially if the guest is not very close to the bride and groom. However, if a guest is particularly close to the bride and groom, they might get a +1
2) You can express your disappointment if you so choose, but as you said, the guest list is set
In my circle it’s pretty uncommon to have a distinction between married couples and unmarried couples. It’s more about how big the wedding is, and if it’s a smaller wedding then it will be whether the bride and groom socialise with you as a couple or whether only one of you is friends with them.
I was just at a wedding that was on the smaller side, and it was specified “no plus ones.”
It isn’t that uncommon, at least for a smaller wedding.
You don’t have to attend, just decline the invitations. That way you can express your disappointment to your friend.
You’ll understand when you get married.