After having sex w/my boyfriend of 3 years, he started to run his finger around my thigh area his head on my tummy. Obviously we are naked & been so many times before I’ve never felt judged & always felt like I was in a safe space to be naked. THAT IS until he one day stared at my vaginal area for a straight minute to the point that I ask “What? Is there something” & he proceeds to say “you’re v*** is pretty ugly” mind you l’m a brown girl so I don’t know if he meant because it’s discolored TO BE HONEST I THOUGHT I HAD A PRETTY V*** area. I’ve never felt more than embarrassed my heart sunk I thought my bf didn’t mind how I looked since he’s seen me 10000× before. He says he doesn’t support porn because of the negative things he’s heard abt it but i feel like maybe he’s still used to seeing that or he’s subconsciously projecting those standards. I tried to play it off as it didn’t bug me until now I’m super self conscious I don’t want to have sex with the lights on/daylight. Maybe it is ugly lol (I’d post a pic but can’t) What does this mean? Should I forgive and forget?
34 comments
I mean, every vag looks different, just like every dick looks different.
Porn or not, vags look different there too.
I honestly just think it’s pretty damn rude to just blurt out.
Your boyfriend is an asshole at best, but typically people who behave like that are trying to undermine your self esteem.
You should tell him to eat shit and block him.
I’m so sorry he made that comment 🙁 As a brown girl myself with a white boyfriend I would definitely feel like my trust had been betrayed if my bf said that me .Have you talked to him about how this made you feel? Maybe he was thinking all v’s are “ugly” and not just yours? Same way as in D’s are kinda “ugly”/ silly looking. Either way, definitely let him know this was a comment you’re not comfortable with and he needs to do some serious work to gain back your trust! You are beautiful and your worth isn’t determined by a stupid, untrue comment 🙂 #allkittiesarebeautiful
Yeah i would not be able to get over this. He ruined it.
That is so rude and out of place!!!!!! I am sorry
And what is the point is saying that???
And vagina are all different in size shape colour and it’s not ugly
He’s an asshole and you deserve to be with someone who thinks every part of you is beautiful. Don’t let this prick get to you, I’m sure your vag is perfectly fine. They all are
…This coming from the owner of a puking, one-eyed trouser slug.
What a fucked up thing to say. That would be enough for me to leave.
Tell him okay, you will not show it to him again.
Do not forgive. Your self esteem is important and even if our mind has been trained to allow such poor treatment your body will rebel on its own.
It’s over with that man
Tell him you are sorry he feels that way ,and that you will keep it to yourself from now on.
tell him his dick is ugly
I would never let him near it ever again.
He sounds like an entitled jerk – and my guess would be that this shows up kn other areas of your relationship.
This would be very high on the list of things to never say to people that you want to get naked with.
Not sure I would ever come back to feeling comfortable with someone who said that to me.
There is no reason to ever say that to someone unless you’re trying to hurt them. Is he casually cruel in other ways?
So, he doesn’t get to see it any more. If he complains, mention you thought you were doing him a favor in helping him fuck the fuck off.
Tell him his dick is thin/ small then dump him. Don’t tell him why you’re dumping him let him marinade in that insecurity as you’re marinating now.
I don’t believe in being the bigger person anymore. There was no way you could’ve taken that and not been offended. There was no situation in which saying what he said was necessary. Don’t be the bigger person, be petty as fuck. And dump him yesterday.
Sounds like he’s intentionally trying to bring you down, I’d break up with him, that’s an incredibly hurtful thing to say to someone you love, in fact anyone in general, it’s a sensitive area for most people.
Don’t see you salvaging this at all, he did not even apologize, maybe it came out wrong, or something, nothing!
Horrible to say the least.
Next time he’s naked and flaccid ask him why his dick looks so weird. What is wrong with men? First you should tell him straight out that his comment hurt and now makes you feel self conscious. Second, labia come in all shapes and sizes, there is nothing wrong with yours, and maybe he needs an anatomy lesson.
https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/labias/
He’s negging you. If you want to stay with him that’s on you but me personally could not even look at someone who called my vagina ugly 😩
This isn’t fixable, you first feel insecure, then you try to fix the relationship, and eventually break up due to built up resentment.
All vulvas are beautiful, and any man who likes women knows this.
Tell him it’s always going to look better than his dick
Don’t have sex with him anymore. He lost that right the moment he opened his vile mouth. He has no respect and appreciation for you. He’s a teenage boy who sees a vulva and if it’s not like in porn it’s ugly. You’re not an individual human being to him. He did not consider your feelings at all. He thinks it’s okay to talk shit about your body.
This Instagram account is great btw. https://instagram.com/the.vulva.gallery?igshid=NGVhN2U2NjQ0Yg==
Break up with him and tell him why. I’d say he’s a moron, but that’s an insult to morons.
Whoah
This guy has NO class
I would really
Really REALLY
Make him pay for this
Maybe tell him you don’t wanna see or hear from him for a week or two
And I’m sure you’re bueatiful down there
Christ, it’s not like the *male* sex organs don’t look like something out of a Cronenberg movie most times
Shall we talk about his “Bueatiful” sandbag balls? Or his “Dune’-esque Sandworm Penis? What a *prick*
Tell him his penis is funny looking and ugly.
Seriously, though, this sounds like classic undermining someone’s self-esteem so they don’t leave the relationship because they worry no one else would want them.
Pay attention to this. It’s nasty and cruel behavior. Does this come up in other areas if your relationship? Do you often feel self-conscious or like you need to earn his affection/approval?
If this is genuinely the first/only time he’s said something shitty like this, let him know it was hurtful and unacceptable. But if he often finds little ways to put you down, it time to find a new boyfriend.
Your genitals are perfectly fine. It’s your boyfriend who sounds ugly and weird in this story.
Girl, if you have any self respect you’ll break up with him. How can you even consider staying after that?
Here are the facts:
1) your bf is an AH
2) there is literally nothing wrong with your lady bits
3) you need a new partner stat because this guy is not the one
I would personally not get over that, easy way of killing the relationship.
Even if he thought so, why say it? It’s not like you can easily change the appearance of your genitals. He had every opportunity to not harm you but he did.
If so ugly, I’d dump him. What’s the point.
Dump him yesterday.
Please don’t offer to post a Pic. I can’t imagine what the hell your inbox looks like right now.
Yea no I’d be out. I’m married and have been with my husband for nearly a decade through a lot of highs and lows. *Never* have we *ever* resorted to this type of nastiness even in the lows. The fact that this clown did that literally right after he used the very thing he called ugly to get himself off??
You will never forget he said that. Nothing he says or does will ever redeem him from calling your most intimate parts that you have *no control over* ugly.
Those words don’t come naturally out of a man with good character. You can do better.
From personal experience I think it’s time for a new boyfriend.
My first boyfriend was like this – It smells weird. It tastes funny. He was really shitty.
He broke up with me and at the time my world ended but a week later I got back on my feet and realized he was a complete asshole.
My ex husband NEVER made any terrible remarks and made me feel quite safe in my skin around him.
You are not “discoloured”. You are just melanated.
Let’s not see anything that isn’t white as “wrong”.