(20m) I went through a period of four years where I’ve been relentlessly trying to reach out and make friends. I’ve tried attending virtual events, approaching random accounts, visit websites, video games, or YouTube channels that share my interests, but no matter what, the longest virtual friendships I have last eight months long at most. Almost every one of those people will either not respond/ghost, yell at me, accuse me of something I did not do, etc., but whatever is the case, sometimes I even lose all my friends at a time, and this made me believe that someone’s out to get me, so I wiped clean my friends list and tried again.
I even watched videos (most of them tutorials) on how to make friends, but the more I invest my time in watching these videos, I started to portray that these people either are sharing extremely difficult but not difficult approaches, or sound extremely condescending, and I started to feel more sour and arrogant even though they try to help me (the viewer).
It was made worse when I started subscribing to a few political channels which I promptly blocked after seven months because they were getting to my head.
What is it? Is there something wrong with me? Have I tried everything I could do possible? Is there another idea you can recommend?
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What do you think of making friends in real life?