TL;DR: old acquaintance from highschool likes to talk to me and do fun stuff with me from time to time, alongside attending my party but doesn’t invite me over to her own party just a day after mine and now im disheartened.
So, several years ago I was in highschool with this girl in class, we didn’t have much contact and then I left that school and that was it. This year, I met her again on a Party and we had quite a nice and lengthy conversation, laughing about the good old times in highschool and discussing also more serious topics. A bit after that, I went to a Lasertag match with her and two of our common friends and again had a pretty nice time and got along very well with each other.
A few weeks after that, I learned that she threw a party to which she didn’t invite me, nor one of our common friends whom I’m better friends with, which already bugged me a bit.
My birthday was a few weeks ago but I only celebrate it next weekend, and I invited this girl to my party to which she enthusiasticly replied that she will be there. Now I again learned that she is celebrating her birthday on Sunday, just on the day after my party which she will attend, and she didn’t tell me a thing, only after the same friend of her whom alongside me wasn’t invited to the party in summer told me about it and she unlike me is invited this time.
I’m pretty mad about the fact that she will be at my place, drinking my beer and having fun at my party, not mentioning her party with a single word and thus totally isolating me. Right now there’s several things going on in my head, I’m thinking that I’m already 26 and this is the last time in my life I will be at House-Partys because the older I get, the less people will do such things. I’m also in fear that all my efforts to socialize more within the last 2 years are kind off without reward as I now have people whom I hang out with and who come to my partys, but they don’t invite me back – she didn’t invite me back and Idk how many people did the same without me knowing it, it’s pretty quiet around me regarding partys. I’m also a bit disheartened because I have a bit of a crush on her and she always looks so happy to talk to me or to see me and then she pulls of such a shitty move.
Of course she still has 7 full days to invite me, perhaps even at my party like literally a day before, but I’m not very optimistic about it.
What should I do? What’s your opinions on that whole thing? Is my fear of aging and facing a boring, partyless life in the future realistic? And why the heck are people cool with being with me, yet they apparently aren’t – I’m not getting it.
3 comments
There are plenty of reasons she may not have invited you, like maybe she just doesn’t have the space for a lot of people and is keeping it small. If you’re going to keep score, then I guess just stop inviting her to stuff.
Hey, many people might say, “He’s grown up.” But I’m saying it’s YOUR party, and you have every right to invite or uninvite people.
How do you know there will be a party? I would suggest making a casual call to her. Ask her something like, “Do you know where I can buy supplies for the party?” or “Hey, how’s it going? How are the preparations for the party? I imagine you have a lot of work ahead of you, right?” Listen carefully; she might reveal that she’s only inviting a few friends. Either way, you’re just being nice and showing interest.
If the conversation doesn’t yield any new information or inv., end the call and give it a day. Sleep on it and call her the next day. Say something like, “Listen, you have the right to make you party how you want and i do it for mine for me it’s inappropriate for you to come to mine without inviting me to yours. To avoid awkwardness, I’m uninviting you, and I thank you for your understanding.”
If she then says she wants to invite you, you can tell her, “Hey, I’m 26; I have a life. You knew about this party in advance, and now it looks like you’re inviting me just because I uninvited you. That’s not the way it should work.”
Here’s a crazy idea, ask her directly. Tell her it bothers you as it makes it feel like she doesn’t like you.