It always takes me a few hours to warm back up to my girlfriend when we have been apart. I got back from a trip last night and felt distant from her. I was finding her quite annoying tbh. In bed she was trying to initiate sex but I felt no desire to – I felt like I didn’t fancy her anymore. This sounds harsh to say but I’m just trying to be honest about my feelings so I can get some advice
This happens every time we reunite when we’ve been away from eachother – though I say nothing is wrong she picks up on it and asks why don’t you love me? I feel so bad.
Every time this happens I normally start feeling closer to her the next morning and over time we fall back into the swing of things and are back to normal again
I hate leaving her to go away or for her to go away but when we are actually apart I sometimes quite like the freedom to do my own thing. I am an artist and feel much more creative and like I can devote more time to reading, painting, just thinking and come up with ideas for my work. It makes me kind of miss the person I was before her who was constantly making things and bettering myself
Just looking for some advice – not sure on what. Or for someone to help me unpack this
tl dr; mostly happy with girlfriend when we are together but whenever we are apart I start doubting the relationship and quite liking the freedom. When we reunite it takes me a while to get back into it and initially seem quite distant
2 comments
I think it’s going to be hard for anyone to answer this. This would be on a spectrum of
1. Your girlfriend is toxic and time apart helps you notice that
2. It doesn’t mean anything and you are someone who gets into routines very quickly and have a hard time with change.
3. You have some mental health issues
The good news is that anywhere on this spectrum, a good therapist would be extremely helpful. None of us know you or your girlfriend to be able to help answer this.
Hmmm this is an interesting question… first of all, you definitely have to address your insecurity that when she’s a part from you you’re no longer confident. When she returns to you, and you are “off” you may accidentally trigger an insecurity in her… what is it you doubt ? Maybe you should be honest with her and explain that this is something you would like to work on ..