So my co worker (M 18) and I (F 20) have a common interest in metal, which is why we talked in the first place. He complimented my band tee, I saw his band tee and was like “recommend me some songs” and then he ended up giving me 2 of his playlists that i’m actually listening to. The problem is, I have terrible social anxiety, but I think I’m getting better since getting this job. I did end up saying to him “sorry I’m so awkward” and he was like “No ur fine, it’s not ur fault if u have social anxiety, you’ll get better” mind u I didn’t even mention having social anxiety so I’m glad he was able to understand that. His schedule is kinda screwed up rn so he only works the weekends until its fixed which he’s actively trying to do, which means I only get to see him 2 days out of my 5 day work schedule, and he comes when I’m already 5 hours into my shift so then we’re both there at the same time for only 3 hours. We talk in between things or if there’s nothing else to do for a short while. Even tho it isnt long, I genuinely enjoy our little exchanges. I’ve only been working here for a month but we started talking last weekend, so thats 4 days now and I genuinely want to be this guy’s friend. I’ve gotten a little bit more comfortable with just walking up to him and trying to talk. Idk if he can tell but I like being around him, I try whenever I can. Today before I clocked out I wanted to say “I want to be ur friend” but I chickened out, especially since there were other ppl around so I was like… “bye!” instead of saying what I rlly wanted to say. But I mean, now I have a week to prepare for when I see him next weekend. I mean, should I just straight up say I want to be friends? Cuz like our job is social, but for us, it doesn’t allow for TOO much conversation especially since our schedules are so out of sync. Idk I just feel like he should at least know? Or idk.. how should I go about it? I’m trying not to think negatively like “what if he says no” yknow? He’s a rlly nice and cool guy but idk!! I always end up sad when I leave cuz I genuinely wanted to talk more, and I end up thinking about him often, but trust me, what I’m feeling is completely platonic.
2 comments
Adults don’t typically formally propose friendship. That will come off very weird and thirsty. Let it happen organically.
Im close to your age and would go with “Hey, this is not a proposal for a date, but I do genuinely like your company. Want to grab something to eat/drink sometime?” Easiest to say something like that when already engaged in an enjoyable conversation, and I feel like “having a drink” is universal code for let’s be friends. If they say they’re busy tho, don’t pursue it. Should be casual enough to not be out of bounds on the work floor imo, but that may differ per person. Openly asking for them to be your friend can come off a bit awkward and, if they’re a bit stuck up and teenager-esque about it, “cringe” (don’t like that word).