Hi there. So I’ve been seeing this girl for the past month and a half and things are good in general, but i’m confused as to what to do any more. A bit of backstory: This girl has had a 4 year long relationship before me (16-20) and after that an 8 mnth realtionship in which they didnt have sex, according to her he didnt want it, which is crazy to me but ok.
The thing is, she told me she’d like to take things slow, but on the other hand she doesnt really want to go anywhere besides just hanging around and at the mostly same spots. We do make out on our dates, so its not really platonic. To me this feels like we are not progressing anywhere. I’d like to take her places, go and do stuff, hike etc. but to no avail. I’m not sure what to do anymore, we text every day and such but the whole thing just feels weird. Never had a girl that was like that, I don’t want to put sex on a pedestal but on the other hand the whole thing feels very casual and possibly just a waste of time and emotions. On top of that we see each other once a week, she’s reluctant to the idea of us spending more time together which bugs me out a bit. Not sure if I should just put a stop to this and tell her how i feel or should I just play along and hope for something?
28 comments
She’s probably seeing multiple guys.
Maybe she just isn’t ready to fuck u
How often do you pay?
She ain’t into you. It’s really that simple. If you’re into someone you want to see them all the time, keep in touch, look ahead to the next time you hangout etc.
Cut your losses.
So she limits your shared time to once a week in specific locations only and she isn’t physical? Dude you’re not her bf.
I mean maybe she needs more time…a month isn’t that long
Sex drive is different with everyone. Maybe you should have a conversation about it. If she really isn’t into sex she could be asexual. If she doesn’t like sex and you do that’s pretty much a big deal breaker.
Yo why are you going along with this if she doesn’t want to be physical, doesn’t want to spend quality time, doesn’t want to go out? Sounds like she doesn’t want a real relationship, but I can’t figure out why you’d like stick around?
She just doesn’t like u
I think it would be helpful to know a bit more.
What are the places you two keep going to for dates?
Have you two had the monogamy discussion yet?
What do you two usually text and talk about?
Do you feel like you two have become closer over the past month and a half?
It seems like you don’t like the lack of sex and the infrequency of dates. What do you like about dating her?
Bro, you’re together for almost 2mos. That’s too early to do it, I mean the sex. But doing stuff that normal couples do? Nah, maybe she’s not really that into you. Maybe she’s not over yet with the ex? Maybe wait for another month? Maybe there’s a deeper reason behind it? Have you tried asking her about it and tell her how you feel?
She’s clearly treating you like a second stock. She’s also clearly is not into you completely and not committed.
I can guarantee you, she’s definitely talking to other guys and trying to see which one is the best for her. Move on brother.
Sounds like she doesn’t like you. Not even talking about the sex – she doesn’t want to do anything exciting with you or see you more often. Move on.
Well there are many things you don’t like so just let her know you’re moving on
She said she wants to take it slow, so why are you surprised when she is taking it slow?
She might be old fashioned, waiting for the right time and the right man. This is a great strategy for getting the men who only want sex to buzz off, because they aren’t going to wait on her. It shows you are serious and willing to invest effort if you wait. It allows time to get to know each other and basically time to win her over.
You should be trying to figure out ways to earn her affection, if you want to be in a relationship with her – and taking the time to figure out if you want a relationship.
She’s too young for you and it shows in how she’s acting.
Well
Some people
Like to wait to emotionally connected to someone, be boyfriend and girlfriend first, or simply just wait 3 months to be intimate. This is something you’re gonna have to talk to her about
But your relation is going at the pace she said she wanted to take it which is slow. If it’s too slow for you then you gotta decide that for yourself
Stop dating much younger women. I don’t think she feels comfortable with you and instead of making sure that she trusts you, you’re complaining that you’re not getting laid, which is probably the only thing you want out of her. It’s selfish. Get a grip. She can sense it.
Do you guys kiss? Do you make out?
If not, feels like she kinda just wants a friend.
Women are not sex vending machines
So she has likely only ever had sex with one person, and you are puzzled as to why she does not want to fuck someone almost 30 years old after weeks? Especially after she clearly communicated that she wanted to take things slow?
Have some damn patience lmao it ain’t that hard.
You’re honestly too old to be impatient with a 21 year old who wants to wait. Or take things slow. She’s only 21, there are plenty of women out there who are older and have the same dating goals as you. Do not pressure that girl or rush into anything. Maybe you just aren’t compatible which makes sense you’re almost 30 and she is 21. Stop.
Sounds like she only likes you platonically
Idk why you’re surprised that she is taking it slow when she literally told you in the beginning that she wants to take things slow. It’s been a month bud, let her get comfortable around you. if you’re having doubts already, then do yourself a favor and leave her alone.
She’s not interested in you, but will continue to use you for attention and to chase away her boredom.
Walk away and learn your lesson.
Thanks for the replies, I needed some external thought.
She’s not interested into you. And if she had told you that the moon was made out of cheese, you would probably believed that too.