My wife and I both mid thirties have recently had anal sex twice. The most recent time she made me stop not from pain or discomfort. She said she kept feeling like she was going to cum but the feelings got to intense and she asked to stop. She was also stimulating her clit with her wand. My questions are , was she about to orgasm? Could she have been afraid to let go and have an anal orgasm? Is it something she just my need to experience a few times to get comfortable with it ? As stated we are relatively new to anal so any help would be appreciated especially from a female viewpoint. TIA
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Regardless of whether she is feeling good overwhelmed or bad overwhelmed, you should always stop whenever she asks, even if you think she is on her way to an orgasm.
You guys can definitely continue to explore this together, but it needs to be on her terms and should go at her pace. Just talk to her and ask if she wants to try again.
Some of the most powerful orgasms I’ve witness have been from Anal Sex + Vibe on clit. If she was just having anal sex I would suggest adding clit stimulation.
anal is how we learned my wife can have insanely intense squirting orgasms
Throw down something to protect your bedding and tell her to just let go and see what happens.
Yes. Tantra could help here. Expanding your partner’s capacity for pleasure with somatic work and breathwork might be beneficial. New sensations can be uncomfortable because they’re unfamiliar. And this was an intense one! Sounds like you guys can have a great time playing with this edge!
Sometimes it can be so intense it hurts
My husband and I just started doing anal this year and it’s the first time I’ve been able to orgasm from any kind of penetration alone. The first couple of times it did feel overwhelming, but overwhelmingly good. Lol It’s like you want more, but it’s also too much at the same time. She’s probably just not used to that feeling, but if she eventually feels comfortable enough to keep going, then yes she’ll most likely have an anal orgasm. At least that’s the case for me. Just go at her pace and communicate with her about it.
Most likely overstimulation, it happens to me during anal sometimes
Was she rubbing her clit at the same time? That is my wife’s trigger to go from “feels good” to “omg dont stop.”
Although since we got her a satisfyer, she has been known to have chained orgasms during anal that are intense enough to make her pass out. Scary the first time it happens, pretty hot after that.
Not sure if you’re aware but there’s something called the A-spot, similar to the G-spot but further up, that tends to be more reachable via anal.
A-spot, G-spot and clitoral orgasms are all different in intensity/sensation imo, so yes, she could have been leading up to climax.
Carry on exploring, within her boundaries, and hopefully she’ll have an amazing orgasm you both enjoy.
In my experience anal orgasams are a different breed. For me they are very intense, and longer lasting. An ahhhh-mazing experience, mindblowing really. One of the strongest orgasam ive ever had was with anal penetration. So if she’s never had one like that before, it might have taken her by surprise.
ah yes, the elusive assgasm. you’ll never forget your first one
From experience it most definitely is intense. For both parties involved if you know you know!
Personally, I know some of the strongest orgasms I’ve had have been during anal.
Lol, from experience she was about to have a really strong orgasm, possibly multiple.
Not a female, but may be able to highlight. Ever have a blow job that was a bit too much stimulation. It felt good, overall, but it also prevented you from having an orgasm? Same thing.
Overstimulation preventing orgasm is not unique to anal sex. Women I have been with have bitched about how so many men overstimulate their clit. While thigh shaking orgasms can be awesome, the thighs can be shaking from too much stimulation, as well. Had a partner that wanted to try fisting and could not cum due to too much stimulation. The anus is full of nerves, as any proctologist will tell you. This is why it can easily get painful, but not all nerve stimulation there is painful.
If you decide to try again, have her indicate when it is getting to too much and slow down or pause for a bit. It could be, like overstimulating the clit, a bit less stimulation can lead to a much greater orgasm.
Wonderful feeling
Sometimes you can access the gspot really well with anal sex.
I’ve experienced something similar a few times , feels like I’m about to orgasm but more intense, and is just a “different” feeling. But not bad in any way…just different
This is my goal for me and my wife (late 40s, just started anal play recently). She definitely likes the exterior played with, and I’ve had no complaints the few times I fingered her ass.
Hmm this is going to be hard to put into words that males can understand maybe
Okay so first off i personally cum purely from piv and thats my favorite type of orgasm, but i cum differently from being licked or vibrators or whatever else in a clitoral stimulation way… one of the differences for me is that the sensation of being filled up or even stretched and fuked for lack or a better word can either feel just really good and satisfying or it can feel very intense and almost overwhelming, especially if its deep deep, so for someone like me who cums just from that, my clit gets so sensitive that if it gets directly touched while im on the path of a pure penetration orgasm, the only thing goes away because its like my body will squirm or clench or something that stops the process… that being said, if the orgasm does begin from penetration then touching my oversensitive clit wont stop it and just adds another level of overwhelminh intensity to the situation that i like, but is scary and in the moment feels way to intense to let go to that degree and have like zero control over my body
I am fumbling trying to describe this to say for me anal is more on that overwhelmingly scary intense overwhelning side of things and with anal thats what i think of when i think why i like it, like with anal im enjoying the being fuked and overwhelmed by my guy… sometimes it makes me feel super dominated too which i like.. so when all that is together im just so turned on that if a tiny gust of air from a fan touches my clit id pretty much start to cum and the whole thing is 100x more intense because if im being overwhelmed analy like that my adrenaline is up, every inch of my skin is more sensitive and my bodies natural reaction is going to be to escape from being overwhelmed and my reflexs are absolutely going to try and this escape effort can show up mentally or even verbally for me too where ill be super overwhelmed thinking “omg i cannot taking cumming this hard its too much” but having said to stop at those moments ive always regretted it and having communicated this to my guy i have asked him to just push me through that moment and make the anal orgasm happen… and it is very intense…. but to be clear i dont know if she would want this so def a communication and super clear conscent thing… but i know for me an anal orgasms not happening without being pushed further then my body/reflexs are going to want to let it go…. and thats ok too… as i was trying to explain i dont really do anal for orgasms lol and she may not either
Sorry that is probably badly explainrd but i tried 🤦♀️
Oh yes. Anal is super intense.
Bisexual dude here to chime in since I have real life experience here. When I’ve been with men and now with my wife, who pegs me every now and then, this is a real thing. I don’t believe everyone can experience this, but I will have mind blowing, leg shaking orgasms from anal stimulation. And yes, it is so intense I have to tell them to stop for a minute because it does get VERY intense.
I think you are delving way too far into the realm of “thoughts inside someone else’s head”. I recommend staying out of this, in general. A few other points:
* Overstimulation is a thing, especially with anal play. I’m hugely into anal bottoming, to where it is my favorite sexual activity ever. However, it is also the activity most likely to lead to overstimulation. And, both from myself and others, the combination of anal stimulation with intense stimulation of penis / clit (which is a homologous structure, behaves similarly) is the most likely thing to result in overstimulation. When someone gets overstimulated, pleasure can stop feeling pleasurable; it’s hard to describe if you haven’t experienced it but it sounds like this may have been what went on with your wife, based on what you wrote. Imagine it like…being at a rock concert where it’s a band you love and they’re playing a song you love, and you’re with people you love, but the music is just too loud, lights too bright, and you get overwhelmed to the point where you can’t even enjoy any of it. Sex can get to be like that.
* I do not find the concept of an “anal orgasm” to be useful. Orgasm is orgasm. IMHO there is only one type of orgasm and it’s meaningless to try to classify it as different types of orgasm like “clitoral orgasm” or “vaginal orgasm” or “anal orgasm”. The factors leading to orgasm are (mainly) stimulation of the clit/penis, mental involvement, and muscle contractions. All of these factors can interact with anal stimulation, but they don’t result directly from anal stimulation. Personally I find anal stimulation can synergize with orgasm in two ways: one is by directly stimulating internal spots, like the g-spot / a-spot or whatever you call it, the erogenous zone on the inside of the body on the front wall of the body, that you can reach either through the anus or the vagina. The other is by how it interacts with muscle contractions because it adds extra sensation and triggers different sort of muscle contractions, to have something inside your anus to contract your anal sphincter around. So anal stimulation can improve orgasms (or unfortunately, have the opposite effect too) but it’s still just an orgasm.
If I were you, I would stop trying to micro-manage your wife’s experience, and instead sit back and just ask her what she wants. I.e. don’t delve into her experience any more than she shares. Was she about to orgasm? Was she afraid to let go? Who knows. This isn’t really relevant to you. All that you need to know is, did she want you to continue, or did she want you to stop? Also, relevant questions are, did you like it when I did such-and-such? How good was the experience for you? Is there anything I could do to make it better next time? These are the questions to ask.
She wanted you to stop, and you stopped, which is good, so that is the main thing that matters. You don’t need to know why, and she shared more than enough info. She might not even know. Sometimes when I’m in the moment, something just dosn’t feel right, and I want to stop. I don’t always know exactly why. This is particularly true with anal stimulation and part of it is that there are few nerve endings inside the rectum so like, while I get a little bit of clearer feedback about what is going on right at the anus, I don’t always fully understand what is going on on the inside, and I don’t really need to. I just know that sometimes it feels comfortable and good and I want to keep going, and other times it feels bad or uncomfortable or my mind or body tells me to stop, and it’s important to listen to and respect those signals.
It can get very invasive and uncomfortable to have someone ask me a lot of questions about what is going on, if they are coming from a place of wanting me to have a specific type of experience. If the person has a genuinely open mind, then the questions can be fine. But it sounds to me like you have some sort of weird, specific idea in your head of a type of experience you want your wife to have, and you are oddly attached to your wife having some sort of experience which might not even be well-defined. Let it go. Do what your wife tells you to do, what she says feels good. Experiment, listen to her. If you’re able to let the stuff go, then maybe you could ask her more questions coming from a truly open place, and try to understand what is going on with her. But I think you need to let go some of the ideas in your head before you are ready to ask her more detailed questions about this stuff, without making her feel uncomfortable or pressured.
If you do want to ask her more questions about the experience, I would focus them on questions like: “Was there something specific I did that felt bad or uncomfortable?” or “Was I touching you in any way that hurt?” or “Do you think it would feel better to go slower next time?” or “If we do that kind of touch / play again, what could I do to make it more comfortable for you?”
You might get some useful insights this way. It could be, though, that she really loved it but just only wanted a certain amount of it. I am definitely like that sometimes…like with anal play I sometimes like to go hard and fast for a while but then it gets to be too much and I’m just done, and that point might come before I orgasm, and maybe I want to slow down before I get to the point of orgasm, or maybe even have an orgasm without anal stimulation. It’s all about what my body is telling me and it can be very different in different sessions and I don’t always understand what makes it happen the way it does!
Wow this comment section is making feel like I’m missing out. I definitely want to try anal now