Hi, I’m (M 28) feeling down and really need some advice, especially on finding a job.
A bit about me: everything started going downhill for me around college when I dropped out of college the first time and got depressed (not clinically) since it was my first time failing at something so big. After a semester, I went back to school a second time but dropped out again. The third time, I was able to graduate with a bachelor’s in science, but in spring 2020 so I couldn’t find work in the field I studied for. I was able to find some office work but was fired in November last year. Since then, I took a coding boot camp to try and find work in tech, but I failed that due to the speed. Between 18-28, I’ve worked as a lifeguard, in retail, a tutor, and an insurance producer. I’ve also volunteered at a children’s behavioral science clinic, but in the last 10 years, I feel like I still have nothing to show for it.
Currently, I’m unemployed and live with my dad. My car was also hit, so I’m trying to figure that out as well. I’m being heavily supported by my dad, and I hate it because every failure I make negatively affects him too.
I feel like the first step to turn my life around is to find work, but I’m not sure where to start looking, what kind of work I should look/am suited for, or if anything else needs to be prioritized first. Also, if anyone here is in tech, I would greatly appreciate advice on how to proceed since I still want to try working in the field.
I’m sorry in advance if a lot of this seems like rambling. I’m just so frustrated with myself that I needed to vent a bit into the void. So much in my life feels wrong, and my career isn’t the only problem I’m facing. General life advice would also be greatly appreciated.
Also, I’m not sure if this is relevant info, but if you wanted a picture of what kind of guy I am. I’ve been described as a friendly and kind goof on the outside, but on the inside, I’m an insecure and anxious people pleaser looking to improve himself.
12 comments
Tech support bro.
It will open up all the opportunities for you that you may not have even considered.
Work your way up the ladder and be serious in asking: what parts of this do I like? What am I good at? What do I WANT to do in these 9 hours?
Meanwhile, just do some certs. Linux, networking whatever. Get a udemy course and go for the test. Prove to yourself you can do something.
After that specialize.
Be easy on yourself. Perhaps you took some wrong turns or whatever, but you can’t give up now. Let me be a personal testament that at your age, all you need is 3 good years before life gets sooooo much better.
Also: remember to eat and drink water today 🙂
perhaps your Dad could provide you with some guidance?
I (43) have started over a few times in my career, and one part that you can be thankful for that isn’t too stressful is you have a roof over your head. Yes I’ve also felt like a loser, but once I made the active choice to change, I was able to set myself on a really healthy path.
I recommend the following:
– beef up your resume. Look at jobs that you feel you have at least 70% the skill set for and tailor your resume toward those.
– build your social professional network. Make a LinkedIn profile and start joining groups you are interested in. Let the algorithm do the rest. Also, start following people in the industry you want to work in and comment on their posts.
– Network. Go meet people in the field you want to work in. There are dozens of tech meetups online that you can join. Find ones in person that are in your area.
– tap into your college alumni and boot camp services. Usually they have private groups you can join or be invited to online.
– start training for interviews. Do mock ones with friends. Watch a lot of videos on this and do your research.
– find companies you want to work with because you value their culture and mission and write them emails. Introduce yourself.
– keep at it! It’s not easy, but if it were easy then everyone would be doing it.
Remember / this will not happen overnight. This could take a few months or a year. But remember – future you will thank present day you for putting in all this work to get him there.
It’s never too late for anything. My brother did volunteer work/odd jobs from 25 to 33. He went back to school and graduated in 2020 and landed a PM job. In just 3.5 years he’s making six figures.
You’re 28, don’t take this the wrong way but you’re but a kid.
Take your time, you’ve got it on your side.
Start at a IT help desk and go from there. I have seen many posts on Reddit about success stories that started at entry level help desks.
Foubd the love of my life at 30. Bought my house at 31. Changed careers at 33. So much can happen in such a short time span
You’ve got some solid career advice already, but I actually think your problem is that you seem to define yourself and your sense of success and self worth based on your work and academic progress or lack of.
The truth is that even if you got your magical job offer tomorrow, you’d still feel ill at ease because you don’t really value yourself as you are.
My suggestion would be to examine all aspects of your life and define what success looks like in each area. You then have multiple directions for growth and no one failure feels catastrophic.
Do you have a wide circle of friends? A solid partner? The physique you’d like? Accomplished some long held goal or acquired a skill?
Success breeds success and confidence begets confidence – you will probably find that by growing yourself as a holistic project you’re more likely to find the career direction you actually should be on.
Honestly, if you’re not feeling the tech side anymore, you can always hop into a trade, and they always pay great.
I know the plumbing unions are looking to get more people in, and the pay always starts out pretty high.
I jumped ship at 30 so no worries on being to old to start.
Find a trade and join the union for it.
It’s over man….
I graduated HS in 2002 and was working part time as a high school football coach and going to community college from 2002-2016. I knew what I was passionate about but couldn’t break into the field. I got a job with UPS, easy to get hired but the hardest work I’ve ever done. I made it a year making $650 a month. Everyday I’d ask how I got here. 2017 I got a full time job in a warehouse. 6 years and a few promotions later I’m a supervisor with my own cubicle.
Is it the life I envisioned, no. But whatever obstacle life gives you take it, work hard and self grow. Some younger folks have a hard time being patient. It’s easier said than done but persistency and consistency is key. Your leaf will soon turn green.