Concerns (20M) with Girlfriend’s Friendliness (21F)

Some background: my girlfriend is a sorority girl who is always looking for new friends. She has male best friends, goes out without me, throws her arms up and hugs other guys when she’s excited, and is overall extremely friendly. Obviously there’s more to it than that but I’ll try and preface this in as little words as possible. Feel free to ask any questions.

i’m beginning to struggle a bit with my girlfriend’s friendliness and outgoingness. to put it short, my girlfriend participated in a dance event at our college where she was also the photographer. i came out of my way and paid money to see her perform and to see her do her thing. she notified me that she would come up to the stands during intermission to spend time with me. it was me, my best friend, and her best friend. when intermission came around, she came up and sat down. it was in this order, left to right: my best friend, me, her best friend, and her. i congratulated her and told her she did amazing and that i loved watching her photograph and do her thing as i’m her biggest fan. she acknowledged this and continued talking to her best friend (as all girls do, no problem there on my end). but then, she took it upon herself to tap a random stranger sitting in front of us to strike up conversation. he was wearing a travis kelce jersey, she tapped him and said “are you a swiftie?” and he replied with “no not really” and they went back and forth playfully, with her calling him a bandwagon for wearing his jersey etc etc. i sat there, looking at my bestfriend and exchanging looks with him in the sense of “is this really happening right now? she comes up here to ‘spend time with me’ but then literally does not talk to me? ” she talked to this random kid more than she talked to me. i only had about 10 minutes with her before she had to go down and continue photographing the event, yet she literally went out of her way to tap him on the shoulder and strike up a conversation. i get that she was in a very social mood and the adrenaline was high, but it still didn’t really sit right with me.
later on that night, we were all sitting down on the balcony eating. two gentlemen were walking by wearing halloween costumes (it’s halloween as we speak) and she took it upon herself to say “what are you guys for halloween?” they started going back and forth again. this time, the kid explained that he was Ash from pokemon, and said something along the lines of “if i throw this at you (pokeball) will you catch it?” Obviously in a flirtatious sense. i stood up, looked at him, and just laughed. i didn’t really know what else to do.

Later that night when she came over, she could tell I was visibly upset and I didn’t really want to talk much. I chalked everything up to “insecurities” and that it’s a me problem, not a her problem. These kinds of conversations have happened often in our relationship, where I tell her what she did to make me feel a certain type of way and she tells me that her actions and intent was benign and that I’m overreacting. I began explaining myself and she, not to my surprise, started becoming animated and expressing her concern over me even bringing this up when it wasn’t my intention to at all as i know how it’ll end. Lo and behold, we began arguing. I won’t delve into her abysmal communication which is something that she herself admits, whether it’s the constant interrupting, raising of voice/tone, and cursing (admittedly, not saying “fuck you” or “you’re such an x y z” and whatnot). We drafted a relatively “ironic” relationship contract where we signed off to not do these things when we’re talking or arguing about any subject.

What do I do guys. I feel as if I’m not being heard. I feel that I’m being disrespected and my feelings negated. If I’m the one in the wrong, don’t hesitate to tell me. I will be happy to put my perspective out there in even further detail. But please, for the love of God I need to know that I’m not the only one who would feel this way if this happpened to them. I look forward to reading your guys’ responses. Thanks for taking the time to read this.