The guy I’m seeing has brought up eating me out a couple of times. We haven’t had sex yet so he hasn’t seen me completely naked yet either but he’s said stuff like sitting on his face, sends me positive “jokes” and messages sometimes about eating pussy and when we make out he starts kissing my body going in the direction downstairs until I stop him.
I’m self conscious about the way I look downstairs and I’m scared that he’s gonna think the same about the looks of me as I do. I’m under the impression that men generally don’t like how vaginas look and that they mostly prefer one with no lips/very small ones. I’ve even considered surgery because of this. I think you’ve all seen the hate and mean jokes about vaginas, specially one with bigger lips.
I am scared that I would taste or smell bad. I am very hygienic and take care of myself properly, using soap made specifically for genitals etc but what if I still taste oddly weird? I’m sure everyone has a personal “taste”, and Im obviously aware that a healthy vagina still tastes sour because it naturally has a low PH. I don’t expect it to taste like candy. And what if there’s some smell that I myself don’t notice. I am aware there are conditions like BV that doesn’t always give symptoms and you can go without noticing it yourself.
I don’t know why he wants to do this. I don’t know if he’s under the impression that this is something “all women want” so he feels like he has to do it FOR ME. Like is he going on some type of autopilot? Because I don’t want him to do it if he’s just doing it because he thinks he “should” despite maybe secretly not liking it at all.
Sorry for such a long read. Any women who feel the same way? How did you deal with it?
43 comments
I’m a woman who was self-conscious a long time ago but am no longer. I also am a woman who likes to give oral to other women. I can tell you that I’m never down there judging their bits. I would judge overwhelming smell, but I expect pussy to have some odor to it and would find it less satisfying if there was none.
Everyone looks different. Google “Great Wall of Vagina” and you’ll find that very few meet the current media idea of “perfect”.
I’d say my absolute best advice would be to have a quick rinse before, then you’ve already eliminated half the anxiety. Then move onto pressure free intimacy, let him kiss down your body, let him know you’re a little uncomfortable so he can take it slowly, let him finger you from between your legs until you feel comfortable enough to let him move onto oral
It’s understandable to feel self conscious but plenty of guys just really like giving head. The guy I’m seeing currently asked to go down on me before we ever had sex, even when I told him I didn’t feel ready for penetrative sex he wanted to go down on me. It sounds like you clean yourself properly so taste and smell shouldn’t be a concern. You don’t have to do anything you don’t feel ready to do, and it’s ok to voice your concerns to him if you don’t feel comfortable.
I feel the same way on different levels. You are definitely not alone in this 🤗🥺 I worry that I’d have a taste that would be off-putting, and I wouldn’t know it. There is no way to know, is there?
My vulva is voluptuous, with the inner labia misshapen, almost. It’s not only larger than outer labia, it’s longer than the outer labia. So it dangles funnily. When men say “sit on my face”, do they actually want one labia lip covering a part of each cheek? It’s so embarrassing to me. I’ve tried it and couldn’t relax up there.
But I did have boyfriends who loved the hell out of my voluptuous pussy, showing their love for it with passionate oral devouring. Maybe I should focus on that sentiment instead…
Edited to say: All this sharing is NOT an invitation for direct messages from men seeking sex. Fuck off, please.
Body insecurities are natural. If he has fingered you he should be able to paint a picture in his mind if he has any experience.
You could turn the lights down low after you gave your bits a quick rinse. Whatever you do try not to get in your head. I love going down on women and I’m not down there to judge but to bring her pleasure.
Do not use soap that’s made for genitalia!!! Use plain soap and water!!
As a guy, not once has big or small lips stopped me. I in fact love how every one is different. Hygiene is my biggest concern.
My wife used to like it, or maybe she never liked it but let me do it a few times. Nowadays she always says she’s unshaven or that she hasn’t taken a shower etc. there is always some reason why she doesn’t want it. I think she doesn’t like it or doesn’t get much out of it. I did try my best to please her when we did it. I like to eat pussy and I don’t expect pussy to smell like fresh roses. It’s a genital. It has some odor – and this is a turn on to me. I don’t mind a bit of hair either. Unless it’s smelling like unwashed vagina of days , it’s fine to me.
Big lips is not bad. In fact, I would prefer bigger than smaller. We’re all different
A healthy vulva has very little smell or taste and chances are good that yours is in that category! It doesn’t taste like candy, but in truth, it doesn’t taste like much at all. It’s a huge turn on to lick a woman’s clitoris!
I was super self conscious too, but because I don’t have a lot to play with. I have a small inner labia. It made me feel like I wasn’t going to be any fun. Sometimes I still worry about it, but it feels SO good and if my bf wants to make me feel good, I’m going to let him, lol.
Honestly if you don’t want to do it there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m a very sexually liberated person and even I don’t enjoy receiving oral. It doesn’t feel good mentally / physically for everyone.. we are all different. And just because some women love it doesn’t mean you should feel pressured to
You are way overthinking this. He wants to do it. Take a nice warm shower beforehand to remove sweat. Your vulva is beautiful, like all others. He wants to please you, and I guarantee your appearance in that area will be of no relevance. Lay back and enjoy the sensations and pleasure you will feel. (p.s. I love giving oral. an experienced 65M).
Believe him if he says he genuinely likes it.
Maybe he’ll be able to help you enjoy it too.
Some men really enjoy giving oral. I used to be very self conscious as well, but I eventually got over it because my husband loves making me feel good more than anything. Either a quick rinse or using unscented disposable wipes will help you feel much better. We have kids, so I just use an unscented baby wipe if I feel like I need to.
Nicki Glazier, a very attractive female comedian, has jokingly confessed that her vagina looks like a hastily-packed suitcase. Regardless of the shape of your vagina and labia, as a guy I can tell you 99% of guys don’t care. Guys don’t seek- out girls with certain shaped vaginas. It’s simply not a huge criteria because your overall disposition, looks, intelligence, kindness, sexual attitude, and your willingness to please us sexually are far more important factors. If a guy is in love with you, then they’ll love or learn to love your vagina’s taste, smell, color, shape along with the fact you are trusting us by surrendering your most intimate body part to us.
Every man I have ever been with has eaten the fuck out of my fat pussy.
It’s Normal to be a little self conscious, but you’ll grow out of it.
Some men do prefer different anatomy, don’t be with those men lol.
I get so much pleasure out of my not-perfect vagina I would never ever trade her
As a guy, I have NEVER judged a pussy while eating it. I love eating a woman out and find it a big turn on for me. The one thing I would recommend is to shower. Try showering together, then allow him to dry you off with his tongue. Then lay back on the bed, spread your legs and enjoy!
U could have the craziest looking vag on earth and without a doubt theres dude that will fetishize it.
I (M40) love giving oral and of course its no fun if the girl doesnt like it or want it, but giving pleasure gives me pleasure.
The only thing I dislike if its very hairy so you kinda have to comb your way there, but I power through.,
I highly doubt your labia will scare anyone away.
Did you watch the bit about the hastily packed suitcase with Nikki Glaser?
I think most men dont care and sure some guys preffers innies or outies just like some guys prefer big boobs and small boobs.
But I doubt it would be a showstopper for anyone.
If he wants to go down on you so bad he will definitely not stop because of the shape of things down there 😉
If that guy want to taste your vag, let him and dont be afraid. I will do it for the pleasure of both of you. And i dont think that he cares about shape, size, whatever. I talk for myself, vaginas are the greatest thing in the world, they are all perfect no matter what. Just enjoy the ride and dont think to much
As a man, my favorite kind of vagina is one without STDs or warts. I’ve never looked at one and been disgusted with the aesthetics or whatever. Bald, shaved, trimmed, jungle of fun is up to you. As long as you’re interested, enthusiastic and adventurous, you’ll never get a bad Yelp review from me.
Any vagina that is in front of my face is the best looking vagina, IMHO. Any man worth having a relationship with will want to please you. No motives. Just enjoying pleasing you.
If he has asked to eat you out, he enjoys the look and taste of vaginas that are attached to the lady he likes, and will be thrilled to have your bits in front of his face. No question about it.
I have big lips and I’ve had BV. BV is pretty noticeable, if your not having discharge or a scent, I wouldn’t worry to much about it. If you’re really concerned I would see an obgyn. I wouldn’t have someone go down on me while I had BV, but it’s just one antibiotic pill to deal with.
In my experience guys either hate giving head, and it doesn’t matter what you taste like or the size of your lips. Or guys absolutely love going down on you, and it doesn’t matter what you taste like or the size of your lips. Guys like going down on girls because they want to give you pleasure, dudes who are super into going down want to make you moan. Outside of pornography, no one gives a shit about the size of your lips.
If you are truly concerned, I would voice these concerns with your partner so you can work through them together. Happy, healthy sex always comes down to communication.
I used to be exactly like this. worried about the smell/taste and worried about the way it looks and even considered surgery like you talked about.
i got over it by just forcing myself to let him do it. he seems really eager to do it and men like that (who love to give) don’t care about what it looks like.
i’m doubtful you smell bad either as if it was truly bad you’d be able to smell it too.
the more you let him do it the more you’ll feel
comfortable with it. & let him hype you up about it and let it give you confidence!
Men generally don’t care how vaginas look. How they smell sure but if that’s good we don’t care. Big labia, small labia hairy not hairy give it to me
You’re really overthinking it. Also be aware that most guys are equally self conscious about their naked body incl their size below, as well.
If he keeps asking, suggesting, kissing in that direction etc, it means he WANTS to do it, not that he feels like he should. It’s a huge turn on for some men, chances are you’re judging yourself more or in ways that he’d never even think of (in terms of look, smell, etc). I think if you look too much into it, you’ll drive yourself crazy.
You could ask yourself if you really want to be eaten out, if it would be pleasurable at all, or too stressful. If you decide you don’t want it, that’s fine. It wouldn’t be healthy to force yourself to endure something that makes you uncomfortable or that you really don’t want. Just let your boundary be known and stick to it. Try not to give off mixed signals.
I would say the majority of women, myself included, have thoughts just like you. We’re brought up to hate our bodies so it makes sense that you’re feeling this way.
How did I get comfortable letting my boyfriend do it? I honestly just sat with that uncomfortable feeling and reassured myself that my vagina looks like a vagina. That’s it, it does everything that every other one does and it’s not bad. Do I love how it looks? No lol. I just trust that when my boyfriend compliments it and says he loves it that he’s telling the truth.
Couple tips:
Shower right before. It won’t smell like anything, but the soap you use. Do not put soap inside.
Don’t let him pressure you into trying it before you’re ready. That is a quick way to gain some trauma. Do it, because you want to try it and see how it feels. If you don’t, that’s okay too, just be honest about it and be upfront with him so he stops asking.
I can’ assure you, your vagina looks just how it should. They all come in different shapes, sizes, colors. That’s okay!
Communicate all of this to him. I think you will find out that you have nothing to worry about.
So I’m a man (44m) been married for many years. But in my single days I never had a woman show me her pussy and think anything other than “thank you.” The jokes and body shaming about different types of vulvas sucks and hurts people. Same with the taste/smell thing. Do most women have a scent/flavor? Yes. Is it a problem? Absolutely not. If you shower regularly and wash the outside with soap and water 99% of the time you’re fine.
If anyone gives you an issue about your look or anything like that they aren’t someone who deserves to get to see you naked.
Most men love eating pussy!
And while some idiots joke around labia, no guy who is into you will not love how you look down there.
And yes, pussy don’t taste like candy, but much better actually 😋
So if you are generally a clean person, that will be just fine.
He wants to eat you out because most men just love it, and most women love receiving it. Kind of a win-win.
So try to relaxe, lean back and enjoy!
Please remember many of us absolutely love large lips and something to suck on.
All pussy is good pussy if you love pussy.
All varieties, all shapes and colors and sizes of labia and whatever else.
Only thing I care about is proper hygiene.
Just make sure it’s clean and trimmed
My husband has been with A LOT of women, and I have been with plenty myself. Never once has he said anything negative about any of their pussys (and if he didn’t like something about it he would def share that with me). I have loved eating every cooch that’s come my way. I will say my husband seemed more into it when the pussys were…meatier.
There was a quiz online of “pick the prettiest pussy” and him and I did it together. I seemed to pick the ones that I thought men like, he thought it was stupid and said they all looked good to him. I understand this is a terrible online game and this is the reason us women feel this way.
I think the vast majority of men really don’t care much what it looks like. Just that it’s clean!
I have noticed a body odor smell from some women down there. I will either use an antibacterial soap and/or a AHA wipe/wash around my crotch/butt are….NOT ANYWHERE INSIDE THE LIPS or even too close. I Finger myself in the shower or even do ONE douche of just water. Get a clean gentle wash cloth with water and wipe all around your inner lips clit hood. WipeRub/stick a finger in your pussy and smell. As long as it isn’t obviously offensive you’re good!
If he has asked multiple times then trust, he def wants that box lunch!!!!!
I used to have a partner with those butterfly wings. She was similarly self-conscious, but I loved everything about her, and eventually she had to admit that I was obviously enjoying the heck out of going down on her and she loved it too. No surgery! Don’t mutilate the most sensitive parts of your body, please. You smell and taste and look just great: give him a chance.
To put it bluntly no one enjoys pussy on their first taste, but most people grow to love it. You sound hygienic so you will probably taste and smell fine. If the guy has experience with going down he will love the taste. As for looks, I seriously wouldn’t sweat it, he sounds eager so he will probably just be focusing on techniques and your responses. If you decide to proceed with receiving oral I hope you have a great time
There are men who Love giving oral. And IMO, real men eat pussy.
I get self-conscious about smell or not being fresh. Especially if I just woke up. I’ll say just a minute. Run to the bathroom, pee, splash some water on my pussy to just freshen and dive back into bed ready to cum.
For how you feel about your actually pussy and the lips, I can tell you the right partner isn’t going to mind. And will roadmap to your clit and start lapping.
I honestly think that if you tell him you’re nervous about it and no one has done it before, he will chill and you can talk through it. If you are able to relax and let go, you’ll get addicted to how a tongue feels. It’s totally different sensation and feelings.
Hth
If he’s bringing it up, he loves to do it. I’m sure you’ll be fine. Relax and enjoy. If it doesn’t work out? At least you know.
I have big lips and no one cares. I was also terrified of have a guy go down on me the first time and honestly you just have to let it happen, but only if you are interesting in doing it and not because he wants to, and be terrified for a little while tell you realize it’s not as bad as you built it up to be. I was stiff as a board the first 5 minites is was going on cause I was just mortified he was down there, had a full bush going at the time to so that was also going through my head. Then nothing bad was happening so I relaxed and then it started to feel good now I really enjoy it.
I felt like this for over 10 years….the person I was in a relationship with didn’t like to go down on me and even insulted me once saying I was suffocating him with my thighs when I sat in his face…….I have big thighs lol. So after that relationship I’ve had trouble letting other men. It was a self esteem thing but now I’m kind of getting past it. I feel better to be honest once I’ve sent pics of my vagina and they’ve approved then in person I’m less nervous, but it’s still a work in progress. I also like to wash right before so I’m not worried about sweat or stank. I still can’t sit on someone’s face (I’m that traumatized), but I will let someone go down.
You can smell and even taste, if it makes you feel any better, yourself? I suppose you haven’t done either. However I hope you got yourself tested for STDs first at least. Wouldn’t want you to transfer anything to your mouth and worse to his too. Although I’d really encourage that you use protection, especially if this is a new relationship.
A small part of me thinks dickss look weird, though it doesn’t stop me from wanting to take care of the one that’s on a guy I’m into and is into me. We don’t necessarily have to find something completely normal to appreciate and take care of it.
He also might love it or be completely fine with it.