Usually when my bf and I have sex, I start out in pain/he cant get in for a while. Then he gets it in, it hurts, then I feel numb, then I feel pleasure, then it repeats. It feels like a small-medium cut that keeps being rubbed. After sex I’m usually sore, not horribly but somewhat, and a lot of the time he injures himself pretty badly during sex because there’s too much friction (his words). He finishes easily and I almost never do. He got a rash a few times from ‘friction’ (doctor said this).
I like pain, to an extent, so who cares about that. The numbness though is an issue. Lube does not seem to help because then I just feel numb completely.
Whats going on lol? In the past I’ve also hurt my sexual partners
3 comments
It sounds like your vagina may not be properly self-lubricating. This may be because you are still not sufficiently aroused by the time he’s inside of you, or due to another reason entirely.
That said, you shouldn’t be going fully numb, nor should you have hurt past partners too, let alone this one (assuming you have been sufficiently aroused).
Do you find that you fee too full when these men were inside you?
>he cant get in for a while
This sounds like possible vaginismus. Sometimes the vaginal muscles contract and make it quite difficult or impossible for penetration. It can be induced by anxiety in a particular situation, but can also be chronic. You may want to look up that term, and if it fits the situation, please talk to a doctor. There are various kinds of therapy possible, depending on how you respond (e.g., using dilators to get you used to penetration, creams, etc.).
>I like pain, to an extent, so who cares about that. The numbness though is an issue. Lube does not seem to help because then I just feel numb completely.
Intercourse should NOT be *consistently* painful for you. You shouldn’t just ignore this or try to “grin and bear it.” Intercourse may be somewhat uncomfortable or feel odd at times (for some women), but it shouldn’t be *painful*.
It sounds like you’re not aroused enough (do you have sufficient foreplay? or any at all?) so natural lubrication may not be happening. Combined with vaginismus or potentially some other condition that is making penetration difficult, this could make sex rather unpleasant. The numbness or insensitivity may be an additional psychological effect coupled with the vaginismus, or all of this could be pointing to a different medical issue entirely (lack of sensitivity and responses — like lubrication and arousal — in genitals could have to do with nerve blocks or other rarer conditions).
Please talk to a doctor about this. Sex should be enjoyable, not painful.
Sounds like vaginismus, a lack of lubrication or a combination of both.
If lube makes you feel numb, you are probably using too much.
Whatever it is, you should see a doctor about it. Both vaginismus and lack of natural lubrication can be caused by hormonal contraceptives.