So last week my husband and I decided to have a few shots of tequila. I’m much smaller than he is but trying to keep up with him took one every time he took one. So once drunk, I’m not saying no to more shots. Long story short, I’m plastered but he’s still able to function. So much so he took a video on my phone of me featuring himself. In the video it is clear that I am out of it and had too much. While laying on the bed, he videos me laying there while he strokes himself saying “take it off for daddy”. I do not remember a good deal of that night including what the video showed. I came across this video while I was at work like I took a picture of something and wanted to share it out. Seeing it brought me to tears. Since I shudder at the thought of him touching me and I don’t want to talk. I feel very dirty like I was treated like trash.
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Is this kind of dirty talk normal for your sex life? Have you guys discussed consent when one or both of you is drunk?
Assuming your husband cares about you, this is something you need to talk to him about. I would be devastated if I made my wife feel like trash in a moment of drunken horniness.
What was the context here? Were you like passed out and he just jacked off to you? Or were you reciprocating and engaging? Like, it’s tough just by what you wrote totally understanding what exactly happened.
You’re right to be upset.
But you both need to grow up in how you treat alcohol. Because this:
> I’m much smaller than he is but trying to keep up with him took one every time he took one. So once drunk, I’m not saying no to more shots.
…is how people end up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Very bad move.
Alcohol is a drug that can easily take a “fun” night and turn it into a nightmare. Have some respect for the substance.
I would be incensed and disgusted. When I was young and binged alcohol, I saw a video of myself once when I was completely blacked out and basically looked like a rag doll. It’s extremely disturbing to see and I would never want that content out there. It’s disgusting that he got off on your helplessness like that. It’s objectifying. This needs to be a conversation and he needs to understand why it’s so hurtful to you, and he needs to delete it. You are completely justified in how you feel.
He also is likely completely oblivious to that dynamic, especially if he was drunk himself. It’s important to talk about it for exactly that reason. He may not even have looked at it since. He may be understanding and horrified in retrospect, seeing it play out. He is not necessarily a bad or evil person or see you as a sex doll. You can’t resolve it without talking to him honestly.
In addition, I hope it’s a bit of a wakeup call on your binge drinking. You are blaming circumstances like you don’t have control and if you truly can’t stop when you start, it’s time to stop drinking. That doesn’t mean this is your fault, but it can also be an alarm bell for your own health and safety.
The act is pretty bad honestly. I know I couldn’t do that, even if I was drunk as hell.
But look, the videoing of it takes it to another level. That’s fucking weird and invasive,
Definitely bring it up and mention how you feel about it. You’re valid.
Have you two taken naughty videos before?