More specifically, who has rejected a kiss from someone they liked due to preferring to move at a slower pace?
My past experiences have been rejecting kisses from those I anyways turned down, and majority of my first kisses have been initiated on a 2nd or 3rd date. I only had one kiss initiated on a 1st date. In hindsight, I feel like that was definitely too soon (I meet people from apps tbh). And my pace is continuing to wait for the vibe on a 2nd or 3rd date.
But yea if someone initiates a kiss on a first date and I like them, how can I communicate to them that I’m into them but don’t want to kiss just yet?
4 comments
“I’ve had a really lovely time, but I don’t kiss on the first date. I want to get to know you a little better first.”
Speaking personally, I’d never be upset or put off by someone asking to hold off on kissing. But that’s just me.
I think you have to say something that specifically addresses it. If it’s a first date, then I suggest something like “I just never feel comfortable kissing on a first date. But I’d love to see you again!”
I think that, honestly, rejecting a kiss on a second date or beyond will send — to many people, certainly not all — such a clear signal of lack or interest and/or readiness — that you certainly do risk putting the other person off. It’s one thing to be dating a person who wants to take a physical progression slowly, and it’s something else to be repeatedly dating someone with no progression at all. If this is a sufficiently large issue for you, you may wish to select for people who will understand and agree to this in advance.
Let them know you prefer to go at a slower pace and don’t kiss on the first date then reassure them by saying you had a great time and would like to go out again.
If you’re not willing to even offer a quick peck at the end of a 1st date that goes well… it doesn’t matter what you say.
You’re going to be moving so slowly that even if you say the right thing now, you’ll just crash and burn later anyway.