Why do people just say that if we practice good hygiene practices/show respect it means we’ll get a partner?

22 comments

  1. I can’t speak for anyone but I couldn’t be with someone whose nasty af and smells like carbonated piss and I wouldn’t be with someone whose disrespectful cuz what’s stopping them from disrespecting me

  2. Because that’s often a huge barrier. People are a lot more willing to partner up with a kind person who isn’t the hottest than with an unhygienic asshole.

    edit: Also, because those are quick fixes. Other things to do, like getting in shape, getting your life in order, and things like that that also help with getting partner take time.

  3. It doesn’t mean you’ll get a partner, but it’s a minimal bar you’ll need to be over in order to have a chance at one.

  4. It doesn’t mean you’ll get a partner, and I don’t think anybody believes that.

    Those are just the bare minimums for getting a partner. If you’re not doing at LEAST those things, you need to work on yourself before entering a relationship.

  6. as a woman i just wanted to chime in that there is nothing sexier to me than a man who takes care of himself. literally throw beard oil in and stay clean and i am yours forever

  7. Because the majority of men do not even have the bare minimum. The bar is so low. Guys don’t even wear clothes that fit.

  8. It’s a pat statement that’s easy to say. They don’t actually care to answer the question (of “how do I get a partner?”). Any real answer to that question would probably be specific to an individual and their flaws.

  9. You are just not understanding communication at all. There never ever will be a guarantee that you will get a partner. None, zero, zilcho.

    Doing things like better hygiene, work out, get a better job only improve your chance.

  10. I feel like half the people answering and upvoting every question with “good hygiene!!” have never even been on a date or are not using a good criteria for choosing dates. I now downvote it every time I see it parroted as the top answer.

    I’ve been on many many dates and rarely is hygiene an issue. It’s like saying “don’t show up to the date an hour late” as if most people who agree to a date aren’t putting in some small amount of effort to make it go well. It’s the bare minimum prerequisite to getting a second date.

  11. It’s not so much that if you do those things you’ll get a partner, but if you don’t do those things you definitely won’t get a partner.

  13. Most young men I know, or have known, don’t practice proper hygiene.

    Frankly speaking, it’s far from the only thing most men need to improve on to stand out or attract people, but for straight women in particular it’s at least an easy and reliable way to make sure you stand out.

    Same thing goes for stuff like having decent interior decor, or being emotionally mature and available – those things just take more time and money so they’re harder to recommend as a first step.

  17. Same reason why people say all it takes is confidence, they don’t want to give out the real reasons

  18. I don’t understand why it’s such a popular response, I rarely meet anyone with bad hygiene yet they act like it’s a super common issue.

  19. You don’t have to be a good person. You do have to be an attractive person. Obviously being physically attractive helps, but once you’ve hit the basics of your physical appearance, your personality still comes into play

    – Give Models by Mark Manson a read

    – Use that as your starting point

    – Learn some social skills like flirting, banter, story telling, asking questions, and knowing how to physically escalate (as well as how to politely leave if you see she’s not vibing with you)

    – shoot your shot. See what happens. Accept that rejection is part of the process

  20. It’s not that if you *do* it’s guaranteed you *will*, but if you *don’t* then your chances go *waaay* down. It’s kind of a bare minimum, not just in dating but in the rest of life too.

    Those are the kinda things that can be dealbreakers at any stage of the relationship. Like, what’s more likely: a girl thinking “well he may not be the smartest guy in town but he’s honest and he’s sweet to me” or “he might be a sloppy drunk who calls me a cunt, but at least he has a PhD”.

    I mean, yeah there’s always a bottom of the barrel somewhere, but by and large being kind and doing the best with what you’ve got looks & hygiene-wise is gonna be the better bet.

  22. It’s probably just a way to pretend that the dating market is completely equal and rational

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