What are some ways that your father raised you, that you want to passover to your kids?

35 comments

  1. If I had had sons I would have taught them so many things that my father taught me. Because of him I knew basic carpentry, mechanics, metal working and outdoor stuff like hunting and fishing, all before I was 10. I could use a blow torch and a welder when I was in the 4th grade. I could clean, load and fire a weapon, shine my shoes and milk a cow by then.

    Instead I had two daughters.

  2. I really did not like my father or his approach.

    However, he did teach me the importance of always having an exit strategy. From all contracts, jobs, relationships, agreements and plans. It’s come in handy.

  3. my dad was always super emotionally available, he had no problem crying infront of us at movies or difficult situations etc

    i want my kids to know that their emotions are valid and they aren’t broken because they feel

  6. Hardest worker I ever met. Maybe a little bit on the spectrum so he’d get hyper focused on something he was learning or working on and be obsessively good at it. He taught me quality over quantity. “Analysis paralysis” or the perfectionist fear of making mistakes is something I would try NOT to pass along, but overall I admire his ability to pursue excellence.

  8. Sweet and soft, yet strict. There is a time for fun, but when work needs to be done, you’d better be working

  9. My dad mostly provided examples of what not to do, but his entire motivation was that my life would be better than his, and I can empathize with that part.

  10. To be okay with not getting everything you think you want exactly how you think you want it.

  11. He wasn’t around much when I was a child, but I appreciate that he showed me how not to be a father if I ever have children

  12. My father wasn’t around. I can count the amount of times I’ve seen my father on 1 hand. So I was stuck with having to be the father I never had, to my son. I feel like I’m doing pretty good with creating my own narrative tho. Something that my son can learn from if he ever decided to become a parent himself, later on in life

    Shout out to all the men who breaking the cycle! We are here!

  13. My dad spent a lot of time teaching me to enjoy the outdoors. Skiing, hiking, biking, camping, etc. I live in the mountains with my family and am now teaching my 8 year old to get outside with me. He’s really into skiing, biking and outdoor survival. I hope it sticks with him as he gets older.

  14. Consider…

    passover – to skip over, to miss, to overlook

    pass down to – to enshrine, to teach, to share knowledge, etc.

  15. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Nothing

    My Step-father?

    His love, patience and sense of responsibility being the head of the family while treating my mother as an equal.

  16. Common sense, thick skin, patience, and I will make sure they both know how to fight both standing up and on the ground

  17. He taped poetry and other, thought-provoking writing on our bathroom mirror so that we would read it while brushing.

    while he wasn’t ALWAYS the most affectionate lovey dovey dad, it showed he was deeply interested in raising thoughtful, emotionally in-tune young men.

    It also strikes me that he brought us up to hug and kiss each other on the cheek. I always felt bad for guys whose dad’s would only shake their hands like some weird business acquaintance.

  19. I’m still trying to work out specifically what I learned from my dad as I lost him last year. But I definitely put a lot of my best attributes to him. He taught me to actively listen, to enjoy life and try new things. He was incredibly patient, understanding, non judgmental and would do anything he can to help friends, family and strangers. And he loved music, particularly live music. All of which I’ve picked up on and tried to learn as best I could.

  20. I am greatful that my father took me out to parks, arcades, museums and other places you expect parents to take their kids. It has given me a lot of exposure to what is in and around my city. I thought this was a standard thing dads do but I have known guys whos parents didn’t take them out much and they spent most of their weekends at home or in other people’s houses.

    I remember a time I told my dad I had to teach my 21 year old friend and his 14 year old younger brother how to play mini golf which was a big part of my childhood. My dad said his parents and many other prefer to save their money by not going out so they can build a big house to show off than give their children an understanding of the world around them.

  21. Work hard. Don’t listen to those who try to stop you. That’s how we both became the top earners in our jobs in 2 years after being hired.
    Also, I would like to be as available to my kids as he was to me.

  22. There aren’t, unfortunately. My father has been almost a stranger all the time. He rarely made any contact with me, not sure about my elder brother.

  23. I have 7 and 9 year old girls. My dad is 81. There’s a part of him that’s still a big kid that has great optimism.

    Growing up, while almost all my friend’s dads were strict, unengaged, my dad was the opposite, although he still commanded respect. I always felt like a priority despite him being aloof at times but that was due to stress from work.

    So I’ve carried on that core feeling I have. Most people always assume the older one is so nice, happy and grateful just naturally. But it’s actually me that’s always made her feel like #1, but at the same time, I expect focus on studies, and being appreciative of what we have.

    Hope I can continue this dynamic. As of now, before bed, they go around looking for me as we do a goodnight cartoon watch right before bed. I see some other 9, near 10 year olds already being sassy, having attitude, etc.

  24. Show me how to do it once, then make me do it a bunch of times so I knew how to do it. For example, he showed me how to change a tire when I was 12 or so, then had me rotate the tires on the van. 6 total tire changes, and I had to do the last 5. He was there to supervise. Taught me tons of not only how to do specific tasks, but how to think my way through problems. Also, it taught me to be able to rely on myself to get me out of situations where some people might be stuck hoping someone else comes along.

  25. He taught me no matter what, to always provide. Even if you have to lose your big time business and career during a depression and start working retail behind a counter at 50 years old.

  26. He never missed a day of work (even if sick), which was just insane to me. We went traveling a bit, though I’m not sure I’d go the same places with my own hypothetical children (the areas have declined a bit in the decades since)

  27. That dad was so calm compared to most of my friends dad’s. As a man, the biggest thing is that he was always open and honest and made me feel like I could talk about anything without judgement.

  29. Dependability and accountability. If my dad said he would do something, it got done 100% of the time.

  30. To not be super low during difficult times and also to not be super ecstatic when things are going your way like you planned.

    To maintain moderation in everything. In his words, Moderation is the key!

  31. My dad’s #1 rule was “Don’t be a pussy.”

    I’ve tweaked it a bit: “Be courageous.” which I think is a little bit better way to put that out there…

  32. My dad always taught me, if I did something bad whatever wood (usually oak) was getting swung, usually at my ass, but wherever it hits is fine, gets the point across just the same.

  33. Love of reading, listen to The Beach Boys, not speaking in anger, patience, don’t burn bridges, make time to go play catch and see a movie. Diffuse situations with humor. Don’t take things so seriously.

    My dad is very principled and mild-mannered. I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve seen him explode. But when he did, it was 100% warranted and justified. Made me realize when it’s appropriate to stand up for yourself.

  34. He taught me to not be an alcoholic chain smoker who had a kid with a crazy girl until I was 21.

    I mean, I did all of those things save for the later (thank god she was sterile) when I turned 22, but still, at least I didn’t start to screw up my life until I was old enough to legally drink.

  35. Be “a good man in a storm” – Keep your mind clear when others are losing theirs. I have used the techniques he taught me many times in many situations. Also be kind, understanding and always wiling to help others without reward.

    I never had my own children unfortunately, but I do try to instill these lessons with my cousins and their kids.

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