I work at a fitness studio and we are all in our early 20’s. There’s a Halloween costume party tonight and I’m finally going. But I get so nervous around my coworkers! They’re nice and all but I’m just so scared and awkward. Any advice about socializing with young (probably a little drunk) people?
About me: 22f, have worked at this job for a couple months now, and I feel like a bit of an outsider at work. I can never fully relax or go without feeling self conscious and awkward. I’m smart, in good shape, and not ugly so I know that my personality holds me back a lot.
5 comments
This is a tough one. A group of likely attractive young fit coworkers in probably sexy costumes getting drunk seems like a bad idea all together to me. I’d advise remaining sober and choosing a modest costume and polite interactions with an early exit as soon as is appropriate.
Honestly I would say to tell yourself it’s okay to be a little awkward. I think the older you get, the more forgiving you become about that kind of stuff in both yourself and others. The most important thing to equip yourself with is a sense of humor. The sooner you can own that, the more free you will feel. And besides, a judgmental person who looks down on someone for being awkward is a worse look.
The more you dip your toe out of your comfort zone, the more you will be able to change your narrative about being awkward. Stay aware of your needs, leave when you need to leave, but if you wanna go have a good time- have a good time!
You sound great just stay calm be safe.
I was at a big work halloween party last night. i had been anxious about it the past several weeks and forced myself to go. I found the best moments came about when I fully embraced how I was feeling and just allowed myself to feel awkward in any moment. Yup, I looked odd several times, walked around aimlessly not sure who to talk to, got some odd looks, but rather than shrinking or hiding or suppressing the shame, I leaned into it and said “fuck it”. I reminded myself that no one really cares, if I’m awkward, it is what it is. Now, I wasn’t acting overtly offensive or offputting, and I was definitely still trying my best given the environment (coworkers). but I had to be honest and accepting with myself about how I felt too.
Once I felt unafraid to be weird, after even seconds of letting go, I started to just naturally do shit that was interesting to me and had a lot of fun with people. I had interesting convos, opened up about my costume, got on the dance floor and lost myself with everyone. Yup, I’m the kinda awkward dude, but I was being myself unashamedly and people were often drawn to it. I also started playing a “role” – thinking what kind of person would be fun to be around, and then just wear that suit a little bit. Not in the sense that I’m pretending or being inauthentic but it was helpful to get out of my own head a bit that way by being my idea of a “fun person”.
I drank a bit too much by the end of the night and got sick, but it is what it is. I had fun and made memories. I told myself before going that I’m sick of living my life hiding, I’d rather just start creating experiences where I stop masking myself and find reinforcement that it’s ok to do so, and listen and learn if I ever make a mistake.
Maybe dress up as something that makes you feel safe?