How do you define “official”?

5 comments

1. I just assumed all of those words were interchangeable.

2. I would assume a relationship to be official when it is communicated to others, no more and no less.

3. Different people define it differently. You’d have to ask the person who is labeling their relationship as such. I don’t use the term “official”, but for me, I call someone my “partner” when we both agree it’s a label we want to use.

4. Those all say the same thing imo

5. We’ve agreed to label the relationship that way. We are officially in a specific type of relationship, have agreed to label it as such, and have decided what that means to us. If someone asks either of us about our relationship status, we will openly state that we are in that type of relationship.

   Exclusive means that you have agreed not to pursue other partners outside of your agreed upon relationships. This can include dating and/or sex.

   Committed means that you have made a commitment to your partner and have affirmed that you agree to that specific commitment with them.

   They are not all interchangeable because you can be in an official and committed polyamorous relationship that is not exclusive or you can be in an official friends with benefits relationship that is neither exclusive nor committed. There is a lot of nuance in discussing relationships, so it’s best to negotiate openly and honestly with your own partners to determine what it means to you rather than to assume what any of these things mean to your partner.