I’m 15 and since the pandemic, I haven’t made any friends.
After primary 6, a lot of my friends went separate ways. I left my school when O levels started and had one on one private tuition online, because my parents didn’t allow me to go physically. My friends carried on with their lives while I felt like I was still stuck in the pandemic phase. (and i still feel like I am) I’ve had individual tuition for about 1.5 years now and it feels like ages. I feel really lonely. I met people my age occasionally, but I never really felt like we could click. My parents are planning for me to join the A level class in my old school, but I’m really reluctant to be honest.
Of course I want friends, but I just feel like I’ll struggle to find the right friends and will just be alone.
During primary 4-6, my friends started cursing and stuff and I was the only one that didn’t. I started feeling left out a lot and they labelled me as the goodie two shoes. I felt really ashamed but at the same time I felt like the things they were doing was silly, and they were trying so hard to be the cool kids. I started feeling more and more separated from my friends as they started doing things I was taught was not right.
Even now, I just feel so different from kids my age. I don’t play games, I just don’t enjoy them. All I do is study nowadays. (because I have no friends!!) I like to talk with friends about deep and mature stuff but they just seem to care about their freaking games!!
I really don’t know what to do. I just don’t want to have that same pressure of trying to fit in again. I’ve honestly given up trying to make friends.
Also, I have low self esteem and I really feel pressured when people leave me out.
I’m still contemplating if I should even try joining the A level class. That school is one of the only options right now, and a lot of students there are from rich families. They can be bratty sometimes and if you don’t do what they do, your not their friend!
Idk if i have this preconceived idea of the students there, but I’ve been there for like 6 years. I’ve really only been in the same friend group until the pandemic. I’ve met a few of my old friends and theyre just different now. I don’t think I can talk with them anymore.
I seriously think nobody is gonna understand me.
I’m just different.
1 comment
As someone who is much older, just keep doing you kid. The ones that label you aren’t the people you want to be friends with. In certain cases they don’t go anywhere in life. Life after school gets SO much better because you will have freedoms you can’t comprehend now. Just keep learning, participating in things you’re interested in. The “nerdier” types now have a MUCH more interesting life in my experience, because they put in the work at an early age, learned discipline, and didn’t listen to the “noise.” We’re all weird, and we all have our own battles. Every. Single. One of us. Worrying about what people think of you and doing things to try to fit into that group isn’t healthy. The day I hit 30, was the day that I realized that anything I cared about in the previous decade was completely pointless and superficial and I’m so much happier once you give up trying to “control” other peoples actions towards you based on how you think you should act. Just be you and friends will come.