I have a friend who dissociates due to massive childhood trauma. I am okay with that under two conditions…neither of which she has been able to meet: 1) Let me know if you feel like you are disappearing and suspect you might be out of it for weeks. I don’t mind a couple days of disappearance that much. 2) And, talk to me at least once a week about how you are doing and how I am doing in general, in the times that you have not let me know that you need space.
She just can’t tell me when it’s going to happen; so, I end up calling her several times in a week with no answer and no call back later.
Because of this, I don’t want to be what I consider to be “friends” anymore. I want to be friendly acquaintances, because the way she acts makes me feel rejected. Is this fair?
1 comment
As someone who also dissociates, honestly you may be asking the impossible. If you can’t be friends with someone who cannot do those things, you may want to end this friendship for your own sanity. If it won’t damage you, i would recommend dropping those requirements and just being friends when she can be. Its ok to admit you can’t handle that kind of friendship, and end it, though. It is a lot to deal with and not everyone is compatible for close friendship with eachother.