I am a woman in my mid 20s with no friends. Zero really.
I’m in about 3 Whatsapp groups for different reasons.
2 of them is for people going to a concert and another 1 is for an online programming course I was doing (finished).
One thing I noticed (am suffering now from it rn) is people tend to dislike me.
I just asked a question in one of my concert groups and the majority of the read it but nobody answered.
They’re doing a gathering and I asked what time the gathering is. š feeling really sad for it.
During my programming course also even the teacher was a little rude to me.
This has happened before.
Please give me some help and advice.
29 comments
That’s not because people dislike you, that’s unfortunately totally normal especially in whatsapp group chats. I can tell you I KNOW i’m well-liked but still tons of people leave me on read in Whatsapp groups and group chats. It’s really really hard to get engagement, even if you ask a simple question lollll
It’s hard to say without knowing much about you, but I will say that group chats in general tend to get pretty dead most of the time. I’ve been on both ends. Don’t take it personally.
people online are a holes mostly
Letās chat!! Iām also in my mid 20ās and hate being perceived. Iāll be honest with you about if I have any dislike for you after some conversation?
Definitely continue to have confidence, I know itās easier said than done when you have these interactions but people like to see someone who accepts themselves and confidence gives off the illusion that they should accept you too. Also, donāt take it personally, this (for example being left on read) happens to a lot of people. Itās a type of confirmation bias, this happens to you therefore youāre on the look out and continue to notice it. It doesnāt necessarily mean itās happening more to you than other people. Iād say just keep trying. For one, practice makes perfect and you get more social experience. And for two, eventually youāll find your niche.
You might just be around people who are not your type. They may even be jealous of you and the dislike you are feeling is really their dislike for themselves. Find a hobby/ passion and keep placing yourself in new situations with new groups of people and you will find your tribeā¤ļø itās happened to me too. Go to where you are appreciatedā¤ļø
Itās really easy to sweat on the small things like being left on read or encountering rude people. Sometimes what people do donāt have anything to do with you or maybe they do. Yall just donāt know! One thing for sure is itāll do u more kindness to assume people like you instead of the inverse. Take care of urself it really is rough out there.
Do they know you as a person? If not, then don’t take it personally, generally people just don’t care. If you think they’re rude to you, they’re probably being insensitive cause they don’t respect you and don’t care about you. It doesn’t sound any better, but they don’t dislike you, they just actively display how little they care.
Your willingness to be liked is the exact reason why people donāt like you. Maybe try stop giving a fuck and see what happens ?
Social media is where humans hang out, avoid at all costs if it’s causing you problems, delete the app off your mobile phone, computer, ipad
It’s okay disengage from the world!
Without checking out your energy irl no one can be sure. Hereās some things that you can consider; conversation listen to talk ratio should be 50/50. Loud or excessive takingā¦ read the room, if people arenāt excited about what youāre saying then keep it short. Oral hygiene; visible plaque, maybe a little spit when taking. Your energy might be too intense, thatās a common thing with young people. Do you talk about yourself too much? Is there a depressing cloud/ self-pity lingering around you? Youāre probably just too much fun. Know who your few real friends are. Donāt bother people in gross if they arenāt engaging with others. Desperationā¦ or even you could be way cooler than any of them and they assume you already have lots of friends.
Iām sorry youāre feeling this way. One thing Iāve learned is that people like people who like them. If youāre worried about people liking you, you may be giving off the wrong energy. Instead, focus on liking people. On being interested in them. Smiling, engaging, asking questions.
I think you should do some self reflection, maybe there is something that you haven’t noticed about yourself.
I thought that once in my life, but this is overthinking trust me.
If you figure it out let me know 38 and no friends lmao I’m sure it’s maybe just how you perceive things or come across half the time people are so caught up in their own shit they won’t think twice about you it’s nothing personal it just is what it is
One of the biggest mistakes we can make is internalizing these instances. Try not to take these things personally. Yes, people can be self-absorbed and snobby, but it’s not a reflection of your value as a person.
It’s important to let it go
You’re probably better looking than them which makes them defensive and that may be coming out as a form of you feeling disliked.
We need way more info to be able to help you. Do you feel able to form connections with people? Do you have good hygiene? What kind of conversations do you have out in the world? What feedback have you been given about yourself from family or other people you know?
I’m 48 and have no friends. But it’s because I suffered home trauma that made me unlikable to other people.
I would keep finding new opportunities, new hobbies and things to do. The more social circles you create and the more sociable you are the better you will feel when people leave you on read or are rude to you. You kinda forget about that stuff. If that makes sense
It’s totally random whether I bother to reply to group chat messages or messages on WhatsApp in general, sometimes I do and sometime I don’t.
It depends totally on me, the mood I’m in, how busy I am, the way I’m feeling and more and has very little to do with the person messaging or my feeling towards them.
I wouldn’t take it so personally, assume it has anything to do with you, or read into it so much.
People don’t have time to think about us / others because they are all so caught up in their own lives and problems, it’s true for all of us.
God keeps you away from danger in ways u can not fathom. Don’t squander your gift. So what if you don’t attract the drug crowd. That’s a šblessing if you go against this. U will pay a price. Because even you are aware of the unseen hand āļø
In the nicest possible way, please try to see that itās probably not about you. But it will be if you keep thinking this way.
Have you tried drinking?
You are probably just taking an idea you have of yourself, and projecting it onto others. A lot of people are just apathetic toward people that they arenāt close to, and this comes off as rude, but it doesnāt sound like your group chat knows enough about you to actively dislike you. You seem cool, I bet youāve said more about yourself in this thread than you have to the people that you believe dislike you.Put your personality on display when you talk with people, before anyone can like you they have to know you to some degree.
be a leader, not a follower! lift your head up and do things you will be proud of. Take care of yourself!
You probably are really cool. It is really hard to make friends so you are NOT alone. If it falls through with that group of friends you should attend meetups, take a class to learn a hobby, and practice small conversations with strangers. Try not to be needy and just share value when you are with them. When I get unliked itās usually from a sense that I am being too critical, cynical, and just a bad head space in general. So try to be light hearted without others and share vulnerability so they know you are genuine.
Yeah I am in several large group chats and only a few people are answered to. Basically social media amplifies the “winner takes all” mentality. So being ignored is the norm, by very far.
Do you play an instrument? I tried playing guitar outside just for myself. Excellent icebreaker.