Hey guys,
This post might be ignored but drop some insight or advice if anyone can. I’ll really appreciate.
So, I’m a college senior, fairly ok looking, people find me smart, quirky, goofy and funny. However , whenever I tell someone I haven’t ever dated in my life, people just don’t believe me given they find me to social to have stayed single all my life.
And that’s the thing, I feel so single that I feel as if I can’t take it anymore. I can’t masturbate bcos too dry and I feel so fucking lonely. At this point I’m thinking of hooking up with random people bcos I just want to do smth and feel smth and feel as if I’m too left behind in dating life for ppl my age.
And weirdly, when it comes to dating, idk how to start or initiate. I like this guy and we text a lot. He got a job recently so ain’t around campus too much. I like a fellow senior as well and think we could get along well. And I even like my bestie from our dorm and love hugging and being around her.
Had yet another crush on a girl from my basketball team.
Why is my attraction all over the place? And I fucking don’t know what to do and kinda at the same time don’t want to be single anymore but don’t want to commit too long.
Thing with graduated friend is we’re very good friends but he has a gaint head and is pretty shy. So I feel as if it’ll be too awkward to kiss him.
Should I just start hooking up online and then later see?
Any insight ?!
1 comment
No big insights. 38M here. My experience is there are attractive people all over the place! At 22F with minimal dating experience I’d focus on “trying to avoid d-bags”. Will you be 100% successful? Probably not, but don’t set yourself up for failure by dating the most attractive dude on Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/RAW, lol.
Circa 2013 OkCupid found that women approaching a man is super effective. Allows women to “punch above their weight” on the trackable attractiveness data at the time. So lesson 1: approach any man you like.
#2 keep yourself safe/look after yourself. Do first dates somewhere public. Also, don’t do shit you’re uncomfortable with. If you wanna date for a relationship (even a ONS or fwb) go on a low-key coffee date. Maybe a walk around campus or something else public. Not a frat party, lol. Let’s you be in control and you can bolt if vibes are off.
#3 men are gross, want sex, and are heavily incentivized to lie about what they are looking for to get sex. This one sucks. 38M and I’ve done some ONS, even when looking for relationships. In fact, I’ve had a handful of ONS turn into some of my best relationships so… It can happen! Guys who want a relationship want a relationship and won’t really care if it takes 3mo of good dating or 1 awesome date to fall for you. However someone looking for sex won’t typically invest 3mo of exclusive, regularly going on dates and spending time/money for that shot at the prize (of sex).
Doing that basic screening will hopefully save you from being like a friend I had who fell for a guy, hooked up relatively quickly, and now has to tell any potential bf she has herpes (cause she’s responsible, and the dude who essentially ONS’d her didn’t say anything about his condition!)
Good luck. Post again for any future follow ups! This community has been rad in the past 3-4 weeks I’ve been posting here.