My husband and I got into a huge fight because I wanted a parrot as an anniversary gift. He never asked me how much it would be, and I assumed he would think at least 1k, like most people know they usually cost. The parrot is an Indian ringneck, and it comes with a cage. Anyway, I set up a time to meet with the person, and my husband asked how much we needed to pull out. I said $900, and he lost his mind, saying that’s a ridiculous amount. He said we couldn’t get it, and I got so upset. Most men get women extravagant gifts or trips for their anniversary, and supposedly a $900 bird is ridiculous. I stated I get paid on Friday to help cover some of the cost, and he said, “Well, you won’t get paid $900”. We have a joint bank account, and he always says,” My money is your money,” so I’m not sure why I would need to make $900 to get the bird. Who is in the wrong!? I’m feeling really emotional right now, and I’m trying to gain some clarity.
I feel like if the money was such a big issue he could’ve asked me earlier on
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TF? If this isn’t a troll post, you are completely in the wrong. A parrot as a gift? Just because you want something extravagant? In a cage? So yes, a bird for 900 is ridiculous plus you shouldn’t keep parrots captive anyways.
You want the bird, you should be saving up for it. $900 is a huge amount of money to just spring on your husband and expect him to buy for you.
1.) I don’t think “most people” have any idea how much a parrot would cost. Like I’m an animal person and I know they’re expensive, but I’ve never had one and so I have no frame of reference for how much they cost. That’s a weird thing to just expect someone to know.
2.) Unless you are literally rolling in cash, $900 is a HUGE amount of money to expect a partner to spend on an anniversary gift. Was this a major milestone anniversary? I have never spent even remotely that much for any anniversary, ever, and neither has my husband. We’ve been married for 13 years, fwiw, and very happily so.
3.) I think the biggest problem is that you just assumed he would be fine with spending the money without ever discussing it. Our household income is solidly 6 figures, we have zero debt and own our house outright, and I still gave my husband a heads-up that I was going to buy our son a $15 t-shirt today. If you want a healthy marriage, you have to talk about things. Money differences is one of the most common contributors to divorce. Protect your marriage by communicating, and these things won’t be such big issues.
My wife has a parrot. A green cheek conure. It is, no joke and no exaggeration, like raising a literal child that is trying to su*c*de itself at every opportunity. We are older, wife doesn’t have to work although she does work part time. We live 1 mile from work (come home everyday at lunch to let the bird out) and an LOT of our time revolves around the parrot. Vacations, weekends, spending the day away from the house and have to consider the parrot.
Brutally honest…. If you guys are in a financial position to where $900 is a dealbreaker then you both need to be working full time. ZERO chance the bird will get his required 5 ideally 12 hours outside of his cage in that situation.
Also birds are messy. They shit on EVERYTHING. We are fairly careful, without going into detail there’s some stuff you can do to help with the mess, but it’s a constant thing. We are in the middle of no joke building a 6 figure addition to the house to help contain the parrot.
YouTube shows you all of the great cute cuddly aspects and really doesn’t explain the insane massive commitment.
Do you plan to have kids? If so, you are going to MASSIVELY regret doing this when you have a kid latched onto you demanding milk, bird screaming his head off demanding attention. House covered in bird shit because you’re trying to keep a baby alive. Husband who doesn’t want to help with the bird because he never wanted a damn bird and told you not to get one. It honestly takes two committed people to properly care for a parrot.
I’m guessing one of you is WFH. It’s hard to actually “work” or accomplish much with a needy bird pecking at your head and biting your ears because he’s annoyed he isn’t the center of attention. And, imho wfh is heading towards going away. Having a parrot locks into a REQUIRED wfh job for 20-40 YEARS.
I cannot say this loud enough. Fuck the $900 DO NOT GET A PARROT RIGHT NOW.
Edit: For the record I like the parrot and he makes my wife super happy. We are in our late 30’s-40. Our kids are in school full time. We aren’t having more kids. Our financial situation is such that my wife doesn’t have to work and can dedicate required time to the bird. But in your situation fuck the $900 aspect, it’s not the time to take on the equivalent of a 3 year old child that poops everywhere and can bite hard enough to not be safe around a baby.
Edit 2: I never do this, but in your situation I read through your post history. 1000% please do not get this parrot. It will without question 0 doubt end up needing rehomed within 12 months. I’m not trying to be an ass, but I would bet everything I own on it.
What a ridiculous thing to fight about. I don’t know why you “assumed” he would think it would be a thousand dollars. Why would he think that?
Also “most men get women extravagant gifts or trips on their anniversary”? Says who? I’ve never received an extravagant gift or a trip in my life and I’m perfectly happy about that.
Honestly? You sound like a spoiled child in this post.
A gift that’s demanded is no gift at all.
Why do you feel so entitled to a pet bird? Does your husband want a pet? You know it’s his anniversary too.
Uh… We recently got an Indian Ringneck and she did *not* cost $900.
Pets are a 2 yes- very informed and wanting yes- required.
If you want pets, you should be both sitting down to research their care, cost, lifespan, etc and then deciding together.
>I assumed he would think at least 1k
Why would you assume that?
>like most people know they usually cost.
Not if they have never bothered to look into it. And why would anyone randomly look into it?
> Most men get women extravagant gifts or trips for their anniversary
Says who?
>Who is in the wrong!?
You’re making a hell of a lot of assumptions and coming across as pretty juvenile.
>I feel like if the money was such a big issue he could’ve asked me earlier on
Or, just spitballing here, you could have brought it up when you brought up wanting the parrot.
No, people who don’t even make $900 a paycheck don’t spend $900 on an anniversary gift.
You have champagne taste on a PBR budget.
You’re in the wrong. Waaaay in the wrong.