I’ve known this girl since I was 20. Now were both in our 40s. I feel like we’re soulmates. We click in every single way you can click with someone. She supported me through a very tough time after my divorce and my dads suicide. The only problem is she is in a very unhappy marriage and is tied to it by her son. We literally talk every single day but haven’t been together physically since 05. It’s not right while she is actively in her marriage to be together. I’m torn because I’m 43 and I don’t wanna die alone but at the same time all I want is her!! What would you do? This is a perfect love just out of my grasp!
9 comments
43? You’re still young. Even if you don’t feel like you are, there’s many years ahead of you. I wouldn’t hang it all up on a married woman you haven’t seen in 18 years.
Adding to that I’d say ; there’s so much more to a functional relationship than just “clicking” with someone. My worst relationships were with women I could have the best conversations with.
Food for thought.
It’s time to get a life without her, as hard as it sounds. I am 41 and wouldn’t date a guy who can’t move on from something not real. She doesn’t love you the way you want her to be and never will. You need to distance yourself, there is no other way.
I understand that you’re in a challenging and emotionally complex situation. Falling in love with a married woman can be difficult, and it’s important to approach it with care and consideration for all parties involved. It’s essential to respect her commitment to her marriage, even if it’s unhappy. Encouraging her to work on her marriage or make a decision about her future should come from a place of empathy rather than pressuring her. Have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings and concerns. It’s crucial to understand her perspective and what she wants for her future and for his SON. alsoooo take some time to reflect on your own needs, desires, and expectations. Consider what you truly want in a relationship and if it aligns with her situation especially if he has a son. Think about the potential consequences of pursuing a romantic relationship with her, not just for you but also for her, her son, and her current family situation. If this feelings prevails PLEASE consider talking to a therapist or counselor to help you navigate your emotions and make informed decisions.
You both are grown ups now, so you should not only think of what YOUR WANTS. Regardless of that, the decisions regarding her marriage and your own future should be made with care and consideration for all involved parties and not just between you two. Look at the future and what will happen in the long run.
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You are imagining things. If this woman loved you she would have been with you a long long long time ago. I have a friend that has a funny name for a guy in your position. He calls this situation you are in an “emotional tampon”. In this case you are there simply to ease her pain of a bad marriage. She doesn’t love you romantically at all. You’re a brother or male girlfriend to her. You have known her 20 years and nothing real has come from this romantically.
If anything happens, at the end of the day, it’s just two consenting adults having sex.
I run things through the: “Will I go to jail if I do this?” filter…
If the answer is no, then why not?
all is fair in love and war
Unfortunately this is life sometimes. You are not her keeper, she does not want to leave her marriage to chance being with you, for the sake of her children. That will have to be her choice.
She is probably using you for emotional support she’s not getting from her husband, and that’s what friends can be sometimes. An outlet. But if you pursue her, you could alienate her, her family, and maybe other people who witness it.
She is an adult. If she can’t leave her marriage, and you get in the middle trying to “save” her, you put yourself at risk.
You do you, but this will not go smooth, and you will make enemies
Op… don’t be fooled! She’s cheating on her husband. Can’t you see that? Yeah I get it, you loved her, she tells you she loves you, bro, ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN THE WORD
I LOVE U. She’s cheating and she will do the same thing to you.