I’ve been with my SO for a year now. Everything has been mostly great. But then I caught her communicating with another guy. She[37F] was the aggressor in trying to hook up, even though he said no because he [m30] had to much respect for me, she kept pressing the issue. She lied to me and said she never got his number because she knew I [m40] had an insecurity about him and she even used a fake number generator app to communicate with him. She claims nothing ever happened and that she wouldn’t have done anything anyway, she was just seeing if she could get him to say yes.
Do you perceive this as believable or do you think this is foreshadowing for things to come? I’m at a crossroads and really don’t know what to do because I love her so much. Would you cut this one as a loss or try to work it out? Thank Reddit!
36 comments
This is BS. She totally would have hooked up with him if he said yes. I’d cut and run.
By any chance do you still believe in the Easter Bunny in the tooth fairy
Run!!!
Would you be interested in some magic beans I have for sale?
Seriously, you need to ask? She would have cheated on you if she hasn’t already. Why are you still with her?
OP, i want you to read this post as if you weren’t the one who posted it. You see how this sounds?!
Cut loose. She’s straight up lying to you. She was sexting with him.
Assuming she is telling the truth now, which is a stretch. It would still be cheating to pursue someone for sex. I believe intent is important here. You’re not married so I suggest you make that SO a free agent. Maybe look at what you look at to determine a SO so as to avoid repeating the same character flaw that this one has
The One wouldn’t even play like that
Why would you love someone so much when they have utterly no respect for you? She doesnt love you like you love her….not even close! Could you imagine you being in her position and hitting on another woman behind your girls back? NO you couldnt! Because you love her right? Well I hope after reading this short statement, you will have had a wake up call and leave her! She is not who you think she is. When women or men are pulling this crap in their late 30’s, its quite telling on who they really are as people.
“She was seeing if she could get him to say yes”
Really? Who the hell does that?
Cut her loose.
She’s defs trying to get dicked down, mate.
Come the fuck on bro…
You are 40 years old. You need to learn to not put up with this kind of crap. Women can smell weakness and will keep taking advantage of you.
Kick her to the curb. Once she sees you acting like a man she will find you desirable again and will do everything to get you back. Don’t fall for it.
No, just no. You’ve only been together a year and she’s already trying to cheat. Run!
Bro, it took someone else’s integrity to stop her from cheating on you.
Read that as many times as it takes until it sinks in, because the next time she’ll find someone that doesn’t care that she isn’t single.
You gave your heart to a liar. You fell in love with someone that does not respect you and will lie to your face. Your next move should be realizing that you deserve better than that. You should protect yourself. What would future you want to say to present you?
It’s going to hurt, but you can move on with your life without her. There will be better people out there who will love you.
She’s cheating and lying. Move on
I can’t believe you’re 40 and believe the bull shit she is feeding you.
Don’t be dumb bro. Have some respect and dump this girl and go no contact. She has absolutely no respect for you.
And yes, she’s already had sex with him. You don’t get to the point of sexting if you haven’t had sex already.
being real here. how are you 40 and this gullible? i’m a 24 year old autistic and even i can see straight through this. i know feelings make it harder and stuff, but she’s straight up lying to you. manipulating and bordering on gaslighting if she keeps going about it too.
this is not believable. she’s lying to you and is unfaithful. actions are what you need to focus on, not words. stay with her and she will continue doing this.
Let’s apply Occam’s Razor to your post OP. What’s more realistic? Your gf used a fake number to actively pursue a male for sex just so he could say yes to her fake number or she was legitimately trying to hide cheating behaviour from you?
I believe their actions more than their words. When they show you who they are, believe them.
It’s time to leave, girl ain’t done playing.
I’d Run for the friggin hills. Her behavior isn’t normal. It’s incredibly shady.
This is either a fake post, or you are really that clueles.
This is pushing it too far for me. I could forgive someone for messing up, but this isn’t just a little thing. She was actively seeking this, she lied and intentionally hid it, she was messing with another’s head (I doubt she was just testing him, but both things aren’t right), she’s using your insecurities against you to gaslight you and she clearly doesn’t have respect for you.
This is pushing into narcissist territory, and narcissistic behaviour very rarely changes. If you’re in a relationship that confuses you, that makes you feel less than or isn’t a safe, trusting place, then it’s not worth sacrificing your mental health.
Bro it’s only a year cut this one and move on. Trust me in this block and no contact at all. No matter what. Move on and find someone who respects you.
She will definitely hook up with him if he said yes. This is bullshit, please OP, leave. Don’t wait to be cheated on. We all know she would if he said yes.
OMG. It is possible that she seeks diversity in her sex life. Perhaps she’s too young (feeling) to give up the game. I am told that the act of reclaiming sex is terrific. But who wants it? I don’t know. Uo to you bro.
She knows you love her and she’s taking advantage of it with flimsy lies and manipulation. This is a no brainer objectively but because emotions are involved, you’re going to try to believe her.
Yes, this is a foreshadowing of things to come and no, someone in a committed relationship doesn’t go around trying to ‘bait’ other men…for what purpose? It’s ridiculous and you know it deep down.
Dude get out. She is toxic. I kno its easier said then done but you dont deserve someone disrespecting you like that. Its obvious she was trying to fuck him
Let’s talk about your friend. He’s a keeper. Marry him.
Been there done that bro. Time to cut your losses. Once everything is ok with you two, she’ll go searching for him again. Wont be surpised if she has already cheated on your physically or is already lining up your replacement & its only been a year! Get out Brother, now!
As a woman, if I asked a guy if he wanted to hook up, best believe I wanna hook up. The only thing cheaters and liar can do after being caught is lie!
It’s really hard to say cut off and run because on your side there are feelings and if you can get over them then do that, but if you cant, then sit down with her make yo selfs some coffee or tea and communicate about your problems, bcz I think this goes deeper than just her sexting with yo friend. And don’t always investigate just let it go bro you cant change nothing if she wants to cheat on you trust me, she will go and do it right away, so calm yo self and try to trust her once again if that doesn’t work out, well then work on yo self.
This was already cheating
You really want to be with a cheater that:
Didn’t have the balls to even admit what they did.
Continued to lie even when caught
Could have cheated with anyone, but decided to do it with the 1 person you are most insecure about
And didn’t stop because she felt bad or suddenly cared about you. No it only stopped because she got rejected
And jet you want to actually continue to be with her??
No sir, you deserve better. Don’t let her use and manipulate you any longer!