TL;DR! So. I hope I do not sound as the crazy jealous gf but here we go.
My bf recently moved to another country for work, and I will follow in a month. He made some friends there but nothing major. Just people he hangs out with every now and then.
There’s this girl…who’s ina relationship. When she had a fight with her bf, she called my bf to ask him to stay the night at his place. I was furious. But because I knew she was upset and possibly crying, I was the bigger person and let it slide.
This girl is now back with her bf but randomly calls my bf throughout the day for a chat when she’s bored.
I would like to emphasize that I would not have an issue if this was a childhood friend or a “real/deep friendship”. He has a childhood female friend and I’m absolutely fine with their interaction.
He met this woman in his 30s and has seen her a total of 10 times. I don’t think a girl would hit you up to sleep at your place when she argued with her partner or call you for chats during the day because she’s bored.
At least I wouldn’t.
I don’t think I’m jealous because if I was, I’d had an issue with his childhood friend. Her attitude just seems off to me.
Am I reasonable or am I overreacting ?
4 comments
This situation your boyfriend is in will not work when you’re out there, so it’s best that he stops it now.
I won’t lie. It seems a bit weird to me. That said, it’s possible, if you don’t know otherwise, that this woman doesn’t have much of a support network. You mentioned that your boyfriend has just moved internationally, so it could potentially be a cultural difference.
If you trust your boyfriend, and this lady’s behaviour doesn’t escalate, it may be best to wait until you’re there in person. That may give you a better sense of the situation.
Something is amiss. You’re not wrong for having doubts about it. The one-on-ones are weird and if you feel uncomfortable about it, definitely speak up.
Your bf needs to discuss boundaries with the new friend. At the moment, there isn’t enough information to say there is or is not an actual problem.
At this point it falls to your BF to make sure boundaries and placed and followed and if she steps out of bounds he needs to swiftly remind her of those boundaries.