We were great friends in middle school, but when we got to highschool, we kind of got bullied out of our friend group. Luckily, he found a new friend group but I’m still finding mine/don’t have one. Whenever I message him on snap, messages, he answers right away nicely, and irl he’s always happy to see me and it really nice. The thing is I always text him first and I don’t feel like he is not my friend, but he might not be my friend which I’m unsure.
16 comments
When he stops answering you, thatll be your answer. Or when the answer is dry, one word, get it over with answers, that will be an indication he aint your friend. Yall cool now.
Your story is the same as mine. I also had a friend who’s really nice to me since high school. But she only calls me when I call her not like other friendship. In highschool, she started to get new friends and even be friended with people who bullied me. Later, she admitted that She talked bad about me back then. However, I decided to remain as friend with her and her behavior never changed. It’s like I was the one who put effort so much. She only remembered me whenever she had something to brag and her mom always gave me black handed compliments while my mom treated her like her own daughter because I loved her platonically so much. When I moved out to another place (the neighborhood where she lives), I invited her to visit to me because we are in the same neighborhood now (I was so happy back then because I thought I could meet my friend every day). I kept telling to come to me (She had no school, no work and all she did is just going out with her boyfriend.) But she just promised me that she would come and not even mentioned in our conversations again. But this year Jan I stopped texting to her and she didn’t even sent a massage to me (if she was my friends, she could have asked me what happened?). 1 week No. 2 weeks No. 1 month No. So I just cut off ties with her and unfollowed on all social media. Still, she didn’t even ask me if I was ok if something happened to me. Idk maybe she would have already told bad about like in the past. I still miss her sometimes. But I am glad to realize that she’s not my friend. I should have realized about it since highschool. We had been friend for almost 8 years.
Have you tried talking to him about it? Some people have trouble reaching out first, or he doesn’t realize how he’s making you feel.
Point it out nicely and see what happens
I don’t man maybe he just doesn’t like texting. It’s a shit way of communicating anyway. Worse than in catching up person, through video, or over the phone. I wouldn’t worry too much about how frequently he’s texting
Personally,
I am a bit like your friend,I am terrible at reading people wanting me arround.I need confermation i am wanted.This results in me hardly reaching out.
I am also very happy when others reach out and will react immediatly.so I do think if they are anything like me,reach out to them and talk about this.I am almost sure they will appreaciate this.
It might feel forced to you but if you don’t you will probably lose them as a friend
Sometimes friends are not as proactive like that. However if his response becomes cold that’s when it’s an issue. I would focus on finding hobbies you like to do and make friends from there. Having just one friend to talk to can make your dependent and over think things like now.
No, he is, he just probably doesn’t like to text.
I barely text first to friends. I love them to death but I’m generally busy with my own things at home. Cleaning the apartment, my hobbies, whatever. But when they message I try to message back as fast as I can.
Observe how he interacts you irl. Does he seem eager to talk to you and fill you in with what’s happening in his life? Sometimes people just aren’t very good at connecting online.
Some people are like that, don’t like texting, lack initiative, what not.
This isn’t necessarily of bad intent. This ain’t enough to state if he’s still your friend or not.
As you can’t change people, the question is : do you mind having friends like this ? Depends on you 🙂
I stopped texting people and they aren’t in my life anymore don’t even reach out to me anymore.
I As the person from the other side (never text first), I van say he’s still your friend, if he’s the same person irl
Do the two of you spend time together? Ask them to! He may have a new friend group, but he may not.
i’m similar to your friend. i barely text first, even though i love my friends to death. we hang out a lot in person, but i’m not really one to text first much. if your friend’s chill w you irl and not being dry in text, you’re good
It’s unfortunate when your young and have social problems arise like this. I know when my best friend was hooking up with girl that both another best friend of mine were after and hooking up with. Well my best friend who I was hanging out with more i decided to take his side because of other people how they would talk and envision me. You’re friend is going through that right now and you might not ever connect again which is sad. I would suggest looking and avoiding and not listen to whoever tells you who you should be and not should be. I reconnected with my other friend later in life because luckily he is a good guy but when through some terrible stuff and was really sad that I left him as a friend. Hes doing well and living and having a good job and maybe moving back to his hometown. So I would say. Prepare yourself for a career path because high school and living at home doesn’t continue to keep what you like to do once you hit 18 or you are the age of 18. I always tell someone younger and I look out for them. It’s always better to get a degree and go for the money instead of working with your hands. I would avoid all bars currently because everyone seems to have an issue now days but that will slowly fade away. Do not listen to anyone that tries to tell you how you should feel or what you are doing, if that makes any sense. I’d say also, find yourself a career that does make money also and or also find a few different degrees that will pay the bills. Like some in HR some kind of low key work. I for myself, had a football scholarship at the college level in division 1 and more than likely would have been in the NFl and been very successful. Unfortunately people like to label people because they see and know how you feel and what you’ve gone through. I had a girl get me in a relationship and purposely got me into it and fulo knowing that if that relationship stopped. It would ruin me and just because I was going to be way more successful than they ever could imagine. And another thing. I don’t talk to that other friend of mine no more because of the stuff that happened after the break up. Nonetheless, you shouldnt worry about that. Hurting yourself is definitely the difficult answer and choice in life because you won’t have any money to do anything and yokll have to depend on your parents. Or family. So college is way more fun and better than highschool. I miss high school because it was fun and it is way funner being young. Granted I’m 32 and still young but I wish looking back. I wish I would have stayed and been more appreciative being 18-19 years old even younger. Unless you die you’ll hit 30 and beyond. But don’t have that in your mind at all. Go to college, even find a job right now so you have money when you go to college. Find something fun and I would stay out of customer service like gas stations and such. But if you work at a bank. Do not quit that job. Social situations arise still when your an adult over a few different things. But other than that, they would be childs themselves. I wish yon the best. And don’t take it out on yourself. Plan for your future now because you won’t have anyone else do it or take care of you. I wish you well. Take care.
I used to be really insecure whether my closest friend was actually my friend or not because of this. Perhaps you can try easing out and slowing down the amount you text. And while this may not be your exact problem, I realized by doing this that I was part of the problem not my friend. I used to believe that I was always the one always starting conversations on a regular basis, but it was not an accurate or fair assessment because over time as I eased down I realized that, it was not for the sake of them not texting first, it was for the sake of me always texting so much that I never gave them a room to speak first. And also, habit. Because we formulated such a consistent pattern that I would write first they just waited. So, there are a multitude of favors that can impact it. And also, maybe ask your friend, during a chance that feels alright and non-confrontational, just pure curiosity, what their preferred form of communication is. I learned that while my friend texts me back, she never really liked texting, she preferred meeting in person, and I realized that despite me texting so much, I never liked it either, I always preferred phone calls and meeting in person since the duration of us texting could easily have been a 2 hour phone call or a lunch out somewhere. But in short, I would give them space to see what they do, and allow yourself to relax, because I also know, DESPIE show fun the conversations are, it can get pretty tiring especially when you start to doubt.