I’ve had issues like this before when I was like 18 but it seems kind of different now
Before it was because of insecurity over being able to pleasure a woman
Now that I can make a woman cum (oral or fingers) Im no longer insecure about that, and the feeling is different Im not anxious or anything
Like I’ll really want to fuck/ feel a woman up but then the time comes and I just go soft but then we’ll cuddle or I’ll feel her up and I’ll get hard again but again the time comes for penetration and I go soft yet again.
Idk i start therapy next month so hopefully I’ll be able to get it figured out but until then any redditors want to pretend to be a therapist?
I will add that I’ve never had this issue in a relationship, and I do WANT to have an orgasm (at least until we end up meeting since Im meeting these girls on apps) but anytime a girl touches me there or I try to penetrate I just “lose it”. I just really don’t feel interested in being touched or fucking once the moment is actually there.
Also gonna say i am not gay and I know that for 110% fact I wouldn’t have an issue if I was but definitely straight so that’s not it.
Also not feeling insecure in fact Im not even bothered by the lack of sex personally Ive been enjoying just getting my partners off but I have noticed that my partners might be feeling insecure/ confused/ frustrated so I wish I could.
Tbh it almost seems like I desperately want sex until the time actually comes and then Im just like “eh”. I still have a great time don’t get me wrong but Ive been asked about it twice now by seperate partners and Idk what to say because Idk what the problem is and tbh Idek if I’d personally call it a problem because like I said Im having fun but I can see why they might feel insecure or frustrated.
Honestly I could spend the whole night just pleasuring her and cuddling/ giving massages in fact the idea of just holding a woman and pleasing her is a bigger turn on for me than the idea of sex itself. Like when she squirts I almost get like a “mental” orgasm if that makes sense.
Tbh the only reason I ask is because Id rather not make my partners feel unattractive or unwanted or something.
1 comment
Tough to say, you said you’re not anxious but it does seem like a bit a performance anxiety. Seems like it could become a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy, like it happens a few times. Naturally you start thinking about it during, not wanting to make your partner feel insecure, etc. Those kinds if thoughts during the act are not good for keeping it going. I had had a similar issue with my then GF now wife earlier on in our relationship. Once she found out about my foot fetish it has never been a problem sense. I wish you the best figuring it out.