My partner and I have been together for 6 years. I have difficulty initiating sex, and feel it would be easier for me if my partner put a little more effort to be attractive for me. I have tried telling him I find it hot when he wears glasses or a shirt, or when he engages in a dominant way, but he never does so. How could I encourage him without it being unnatural?
2 comments
When you say you tell him what you find attractive, is that in passing or just as a side comment?
You need to have an open and honest conversation with him about it and say you would really appreciate it if a few times a week he could try doing xyz because you really love it.
This may sound ridiculous, but sometimes you need to take a direct approach. I’ve found that being indirect with hints, suggestions, and compliments might not get what you want. I was too uncomfortable to sit down and hold a lengthy conversation on exactly what I wanted so I wrote down a few detailed fantasies on what I wanted and how I wanted it. It turned out great! I’ve done this a handful of times which has really helped my partner understand me better. I’d suggest trying the same thing, write down exactly what you want him to wear, what to say, what to do, and when. See how it turns out, provide feedback, maybe he will enjoy it as much as you do.