How do you feel about your partner having pleasured or currently pleasuring other women? How do you feel about your partner having been pleasured or getting pleasured by other women?

10 comments

1. [removed]

2. [removed]

3. I’d be pretty fucking pissed if my partner was currently pleasuring or getting pleasured by other people. Their past history is none of my business, as long as I know what types of STIs they do/don’t have.

4. I don’t think about that at all. We each had a fun past before we got together.

5. that’s a grammatical question.

   present tense: (hypothetically) painful and utterly unacceptable.

   past tense: completely irrelevant.

6. Strictly in the past? I don’t care. We’re adults with needs and we’ve dated people. It is what is it.

   If I found out now? I’d be pissed and probably totally heart broken like I was when it happened with my ex-husband 4 years ago.

7. I would be uncomfortable with something intimate happening in the past between a partner and someone I knew. I’d also feel uncomfortable if they had hooked up with a lot of people. I think it’s pretty risky sexual behaviour which can impact my health, and it’s also telling about what they want out of future relationships, which is relevant before I get into a relationship with someone.

   Beyond that, I feel like it’s none of my business, unless a partner is comfortable with some light hearted prodding about his past and he chooses to indulge that curiosity. Sometimes it’s interesting to know what kind of “type” your partner has, and whether that’s matured, whether you’re aligned with it, how self aware they are about it. It can be apart of getting to know someone, but I’m usually not that nosy until we know each other well enough to understand that’s not jealousy.

   And as to the second part of your question, I’m monogamous and don’t feel comfortable with other arrangements.

8. The past doesn’t matter. The present is why I am now happily divorced. He can pleasure others and be pleasured all he wants now without putting my health at risk.

9. I have a bit of a different perspective than most responses, as I am in an open relationship. I actually do not care about my partner being pleasured or pleasuring other women. Sex is fun, and a lot can be learned about oneself through sexual exploration. Good sexual chemistry is important, but other aspects of relationships are more important to me. I am more concerned with how emotionally safe I feel with him, which can sometimes be difficult when navigating an open relationship.

10. Hot