Me (33M) and my GF (29F) are currently working through about two years of her having low to no sex drive and I’m wondering what the best tips people have or have seen here for couples in this situation. She and I are very open to each other on the topic and completely happy, we just see it as something we have to communicate on and support each other. That said, we both are researching things she, me or we could try.
Currently, she has seen her gyno and primary care doctor and she is using a Nuvaring for birth control. Her gyno said this could not be part of her low sex drive as she has been on it for six years and the first four she had a high sex drive. Her primary care doctor did hormone tests and everything came back fine. The same doctor did also want to check her thyroid, but she has not gone back for those yet.
My gf also has had migraines for most of her life, so she is often having to take medication for that. Her birth control has also been apart of that prevention plan cause when she switched to Nuvaring she had better luck with avoiding migraines and fuck migraines, so it’s tough to consider changing that.
Lastly for her, She works a very stressful job, so we are mindful of that being a part of this. However, it’s a huge passion point for her and she does a lot of good for our community, so we don’t want to change that.
On my end, I’ve had my own long term dry spell before as well, so we’ve gone through this in reversed roles. My big thing is being emotionally supportive, which I would love some advice on. I find myself feeling bad asking her about sex as she has expressed her frustration about it as well, so I don’t want her to feel bad at all.
Any advice for her, me or us would be awesome!
2 comments
You just have to keep trying. The longer your together the more times you’ll get in a rut. You have to keep trying. Stressful days, kids, medications ect. Are all libido killers. Things will pick up eventually. Sometimes it’s hard to set aside 30 min to just cuddle and live each other.
My wife’s snob is stressful so I usually ask her about her day right when she gets home. Letting her vent and talk about her day usually releases a little of that stress.
Also pro tip start giving some back rubs. Not every one needs to end up as sex but you’ll start getting her relaxed and in the mood more often if you can get her to focus on herself instead of outside stressors.
Has she tried listening to erotica? Or reading it? That with a glass of wine and a clean house…lovely