What is the weirdest conversation you’ve ever eavesdropped to?

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1. Remember when Taylor Swift showed up at Long Beach Island over the summer and all the Swifties in the area immediately inundated the place to be near their Queen?

   I was about an hour away in Ocean City at the time. Sitting on the porch of my rental house, I overheard a young couple on the porch next door having a very heated argument involvingTaylor Swift. I didn’t understand the context at the time, but it was something about her wanting to go somewhere and he refusing to go along. It ended with loud shouting, and her angrily walking off somewhere on her own.

   Only later when I saw the video of the Switfy mob on LBI did it all click what she wanted to do. I don’t blame him for wanting nothing to do with that situation.

2. I was on a flight with assigned seating and the woman next to me had “the talk” with her (I’m guessing 12-14yr) daughter. Both of them were pretty big, I’d guess 250-300 for mama and she went into detail about sex positions and stuff.

3. I went to a restaurant with my now wife and my brother. While we were sitting there, the table behind us were on a very obvious first date. I kid you not, the ENTIRE conversation at that table was about the girl’s cat. EVERYTHING she said. Was about the cat. The guy occasionally tried to segue the conversation to something else… but was not successful.

4. Is it eavesdropping if it’s email?

   I got an email addressed to 5-6 people. It was from a woman who was vacationing across Europe, to her friends. She mistyped an email and got me instead.

   In total I got probably 10 emails. The first few were normal, “made it to Portugal, saw the blah blah… got to spain, blah blah.”

   About 5 emails in she said she ran out of money and was sleeping with men for food and places to stay. She was pretty graphic about her sexcapades, included positions and places and things she’d never done before.

   To be fair, I replied to the first email and told her she got the wrong person. But she kept sending them. The last few were intense, like a smut novel. It was fantastic.

5. “Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.” Now, I’m gonna repeat that, because it bears repeating. “If it weren’t for my horse…” as in, giddyup, giddyup, let’s go — “I wouldn’t have spent that year in college,” which is a degree-granting institution. Don’t think about that too long, or BLOOD will shoot out your NOSE!”

   ― Lewis Black

6. I passed two 20something stoner-looking dudes walking down the street once. They looked unusually glum for the chemically-enhanced.

   *”I guess that was a real phonecall.” “Yeah.”*

7. My brother and I were eating out, both zoned out.
   We both somehow heard the woman next table say that she would never marry her own father…

   There’s no context in which I could imagine someone saying that…

8. Classmates discussing dildos