I´m currently at highschool, and I really like the girl that sits next to me, and I would like to be able to talk to her but I have very little experience with talking to people who I´m not close to, so I struggle with that but specially in that case, and my self esteem just makes things worse, I feel very bad about my self so I avoid disturbing people in an extreme way but I just make things worse, once I was paired with her for a team work and I made 0 eye contact and acted the most robotic way you could imagine, but at least I know I´m not disguting to her because she makes a small casual talk with me at least once a week and she often asks me favors, but I still feel very lost and don´t know what steps to take without creeping her out.
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How about like a basic “how’s your day going?” next time y’all bump into one another. It will maybe be easier since y’all already have a lil rapport.
When I’m kind of curious about a stranger and I want to start a convo I usually do something low stakes like a silly joke/observation or just “hi how are you” — I have given so little of myself while still making an opening. And how they respond to such a low stakes gesture can say a lot. Like if they’re shitty, I feel like I know I don’t want to put a lot of effort into getting to know them. (Albeit, I try not to judge super aggressively in this situation, you never know what’s going on in someone’s life. They could be having a bad day and it could have nothing to do w me.) And like, I haven’t put myself all the way out there with “hi how are you”, ive just nicely said “hi how are you.”
Feels like creating stepping stones without losing your balance.