We have quite an age gap

44 comments

1. If you love eachother then there’s no problem. You do you king 👑

2. How long have you been dating?

3. it’s not wrong – just realize that when your 35 she’ll be 46 – and I bet she won’t be looking very young (I only bring it up because that’s your first description)

4. Are you open to having kids within the next few years?

5. Hey if you’re feel like you’re the same child/life/marriage wise then more power to you! You’re not talking a college student and an adult or something… you’re 25 and probably are beginning to/already established your independent life now.

6. Ehh, it might not bug you now but in my experience, I love dating someone so close to my age. We get the same memes, references, grew up with the same popular movies, etc. we’re also at the same stage in our lives, something you just don’t get with someone with such an age gap.

   But every relationship is different, might work for you idk

7. You’re both fully grown adults making consenting decisions. Nothing wrong with that

8. It isn’t wrong. I just don’t understand what a 36 yr old would have in common with a 25 yr old.

9. Nothing wrong about it.

10. age gap at your age is a non-factor UNLESS she wants a child and family. cause her timeline may be faster. it sounds like you already discussed this so i think you’re fine

11. This was exactly me In this exact situation a few years ago. The age difference and the ages are exactly the same. It didn’t work out but it was fun tbh with you. I would ask my self the same things like you have and even make posts about it. Just have fun dude. You’ll be ok. Make sure you focus on you’re life as much as possible. Trying to better your self and everything

12. I’m 40 and my SO is 28. We have been together 8yrs! There are time we talk about the age gap. Like retirement and shit but we are both extremely happy!!

13. No, age gaps aren’t wrong as long as there is not an imbalance of power. It would be weird if you were 19 and she was 30 because it would likely be imbalanced. At 25 and 36 you’re both adults. If you’re equals and partners in the relationship… then it’s a great relationship. (My husband is 8 1/2 years younger than me and we are both happy!!!)

14. Unless you’re dating a teenager, I see age gaps as an orange flag. Like, it’s not bad unless you have conscious (or unconscious) ulterior motives to use your age to manipulate the person younger than you.

    This seems like a normal adult relationship to me.

15. if you dont want children then the age difference isnt an issue.

16. As long it’s not abusive, toxic and illegal.. Go for it!

17. As long as you’re in a healthy, respectful relationship it doesn’t matter.

    I understand the alarm people have from age gaps however not every younger person in an aged gaped relationship has been groomed or in an abusive relationship.

    What matters is if you are happy and healthy in your relationship. As long as you feel good and your partner feels good nothing matters.

18. reading your past entires, it seems like she’s manipulating you

19. It’s not wrong. I (40f) have been with my bf (27m) for 2 years. We are both ok with it. Other people often freak out but we treat each others as equals and its OUR relationship.

20. People are critical of age gaps when there’s an imbalance in experience and power dynamic. Is that the case here?

21. That really is not much of an age gap. Also, what should not matter is if she looks younger. My parents were 12 yrs different and my grandparents almost 18 yrs. It is maturity, goals, and where you both are in life. This may be the only thing where age may matter in some instances. Perhaps not so much now but even say you were 19 or 20 and still at the I am free and life is a party and if she is even 6 or 8 yrs older and is all settled in her career and done with that stage and just is wanting to settle down, or even if she was the 19/20 and you were the older more wanting to settle, that would be the set back but you couldbe 10-16 yrs apart but be at the same level and have similar goals and intersts and can see 5 or 10 yrs still on that same road then age won’t matter. If it is more about what others think or looks then maybe it not a good thing.

22. I’m 36 and my husband is 46. Together for 14 years, married for 10, the age gap has never been an issue.

23. Not the biggest deal if you’re 25 and she’s 36. If you were four or five years younger that’d be a lil sketchy but it’s not wrong

24. This is a lot less toxic than other age gaps. You have your mind and body fully developed and probably studied/worked. There is no harm in the age gap but you are in two stages in your life. You could be wanting to be independent and explore the world and she may be wanting to settle down. Check if your goals align.

25. I’ll tell you op, my dads younger brother married a woman 12 years his senior. 46 years this year they have been married. 4 kids, 10 grandkids. Still chugging along happily.

    You talk about it. If y’all are ok with it. Who cares what others think?

26. Harry Styles is dating someone 10 years his senior and they seem to get on quite well. I say if you are in similar places in life, and share the same values then there is nothing wrong with the age gap. Now, if that changes and one of you decides you’re against marriage and children, while the other one still wants marriage and children, then I would say you should re-evaluate the relationship. Don’t be so bothered about what others think. In the end it only matters what you and your partner think because you two are in the relationship, not everyone else.

27. Age gaps aren’t necessarily bad but based on your post history your relationship seem the best

28. 36/2 = 18. 18 + 7 = 25. If you’re asking for a rule, here’s on. She’s perfectly within a normal age range, so you’re good.

29. The issue with age gap has literally nothing to do with looks, it’s about maturity. Generally, a 35yo has more life experience than a 20yo. Older adults have better learned how to set and navigate boundaries while younger adults are still learning. In some cases, the only thing that makes someone an adult is their age.

    Just to be clear, this is something you talk to her about. You don’t seem mature enough to be dating a 36yo but all I’m going off of is you describing her as looking young, and your views on “children/life(??)/marriage” being the same. You simply don’t strike me as an adult at all. In your other post, presumably about the same person, you mention how she neglects you and how you’re obsessed with you. To me, she doesn’t want to coddle a child.

    The age gap isn’t the issue, it’s you.

30. It’s perfectly fine you do what makes both of you happy!

31. I’m 13 years OLDER THAN MY BF. We look about the same age.
    Was celibate over 10 years, dated sporadically after a bad marriage & divorce. I’m enjoying my life and being with him when we’re together. He was divorced 3 times (ugh, but that means he’s not afraid of commitment, lol).
    I say GO FOR IT!!

32. If you are happy, don’t worry about it

33. How long ago did you start dating?

34. My in-laws are 12 years apart. Her being the older one. They’ve been married over 40 years. It can work

35. Y’all are fine. Don’t worry about what other people think. As long as the relationship is serving you both, it shouldn’t be an issue.

36. My partner is 25m and I’m 34f. It’s a bit of a gap but we have a lot of stuff in common and our views align. I say do what makes you happy.

37. Sorry to go against the flow but this is weird! Age gaps can literally be dangerous and I think people are over looking that because you’re a man

38. See OP’s post history.

    You feel neglected or ignored by her unless you ignore her or talk about other girls, then she pays attention to you. She cuts off communication to you.

    You see each other every 1-2 weeks.

    This is your first sexual relationship.

    You seem overly concerned that you might not be able to find anyone else rather than that you and your girlfriend are a good fit.

    It sounds like there’s a cultural difference in play as well?

    You need additional experiences to know what you like.

39. My friend who is 41 is happily married to her husband who is 29. They met when he was 25. You are fully an adult and can be with who you want.

40. It’s funny how all the comments are “there’s nothing wrong with it” but you know that if those ages were swapped and the guy was the older one, people would be calling him a predator.

41. I think it’s only weird if they focus on the age gap. I dated someone years ago that was 10 years older than me, and would often say things like “before you were alive” or “you were just a baby!” Despite my best efforts to get them to stop, it never did. It was awkward, and after awhile I grew tired of hearing it.

42. The age gap shouldn’t be a problem at those ages.

    What IS a problem is your relationship in particular as shown in your post history. She’s emotionally manipulative, gives you the silent treatment, only shows you affection when she’s feeling jealous? You feel obsessed and constantly chasing her?

    These are relationship red flags. I would research attachment styles since you seem to have anxious attachment issues and likely shouldn’t be with someone this emotionally immature.

43. An age gap can be perfectly okay, sure. But [your relationship](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ulw0cu/she_only_loves_me_when_i_lose_interest/) [has far more pressing issues](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/uj6h37/i_think_im_obsessed_with_my_gf/) [than your difference in ages.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ufffxp/getting_neglected_by_girlfriend/)

    This isn’t a healthy relationship by any means. In just over a week you’ve made three negative posts about three separate issues. One of which really highlights the immaturity and jealousy issues that neither of you have put any work into getting over; and I don’t know if you know, but those are not foundations for a healthy and lasting partnership.

44. If you’re posting about different problems in your relationship 4 times over 9 days, it’s probably not a good relationship.