Why is it so painfully difficult for me to enjoy my time alone in the bar?

5 comments

1. There’s a couple things at play. You probably judge people who are alone in a bar. The more you try it the easier it gets. Some nights are better than others. It’s easier (less inhibited) when you’re lit.

2. You’re not alone. Even normal people have a hard time chatting up strangers at a bar.

   I’ll be very upfront: Unless you’re there to watch a sporting event, you’d likely be perceived as giving off a creepy vibe if alone.

   What’s your motive being there? Are you trying to make friends or meet a woman? Because there are better places for both if going solo. Bars are usually for people who wanna spend time with friends so it’s a uphill climb to join in. It’s not impossible but it’s not the best venue.

3. Hanging out in a bar by yourself is kinda sad. Coffee shops and libraries are better for solo people.

4. If you are at all uncomfortable being alone people will pick up on that and be uncomfortable around you.

   I’ve spoken to people at bars and the ones that can casually strike a conversation generally are polite and respectful and make an effort to be charming because it is an uphill battle as others have pointed out.

   “Sorry I couldn’t help but overhear/notice…” is a good icebreaker followed by an explanation “I’m just in town for travel…” and then be generally friendly and likeable.

   Personally I don’t think it’s worth the effort, alcohol is far more dangerous than people realize.

5. Im sitting here alone at the local bar that I socialize at all the time with everyone. If I want to be alone and enjoy a beer then so be it. Give off your vibes and people will feel it.