So my bf is older than me… 18 years older to be exact. So realistically he’s had a lot of sexual partners over the years. He told me he’s never really had an issue making a woman cum. I can see why… he’s amazing in bed. He’s very responsive to my words and actions and even my thoughts without me telling him sometimes. He definitely focuses a lot on my pleasure when we’re in bed and loves to make me feel good. He lives abroad so we don’t get to be together a lot but when we finally are together it feels like magic. And I’m in love with him.
So what’s the problem here? The problem is because he’s such a giver and wants sex to be pleasurable for me, he always used to ask me if I came or not. I always said no at first… and then it started to get to me because I could tell he beat himself up for it. He told me himself he was determined to make me cum. He always asked me what felt good and what didn’t and if he should keep going or not. I guess I just got tired of him being so concerned and constantly asking about it so one night I just.. faked it. Three times. And then I just kept faking it after that. Im happy that he doesn’t ask about it anymore. But now I feel guilty for lying and I don’t know how to backtrack. I ALSO would love to actually cum during sex with him but it’s never happened for me during sex with anyone. I don’t know how to make it happen. I don’t know why I don’t cum I just don’t. But I want so badly to figure it out.
I made a post about it a few years ago… but I can literally only cum in one position- with my legs squeezed shut and my toes flexed. I’ve been trying for so many years to figure out how to fix myself that I’m sure I even looked it up on AskJeeves at some point. The whole thing makes me feel very alone and now I can’t even tell him because I already lied. I don’t really know what to do. My first thought was to just keep faking it until I figure out how to cum in other positions… but now I feel bad for keeping it from him and thought maybe I need his help with this? I’d just like to hear what others think.