i’m going to summarize this as best as i can but a few weeks this man saw me at a friends pool party, i was only there for about 30 min but i guess as soon as i left the guy asked my friend what my name is and that he thought i was beautiful or whatever
friend never mentioned it to me until i met up with her on halloween and she’s like oh by the way this guy saw you at the party and he’s been asking about you. very briefly met each other that night because he was taking care of his drunk friend but he was very cute so i asked my friend about him the next day, she said he told me to give you his number! so i texted him and we were talking basically non stop from sunday-wednesday, and it was honestly amazing conversation. like our personalities aligned there was no love bombing it was like making fun of each other and flirting and it turned kinda sexual (low key he kinda started it and i went with it because my goal isn’t really anything serious) anyways, we finally got a chance to meet up and he took me to a dinner and we walked around the beach. conversation was easy and hilarious. the one part that is making me have second guesses is i told him i had no idea what he even looked like because i didn’t notice him at the party lol and i like barely met him the previous weekend. he was acting like he was offended, n a sarcastic way, but now i’m starting to think maybe he’s super self conscious??? i’m telling you this guy is hot as hell, and i am super picky lol. but the reason why i think he’s actually self conscious is because HE DIDNT TRY AND KISS ME AT THE END. he said he had a great time and basically ran to his car lmao. i sent him a text thanking him for dinner and stuff and he said thanks for coming, i was like why did we not make out? and he said “hahahahha i’m not gonna force myself on you” then we had some more playful banter then today he has been DISTANT, he said something about him being lame and i told him i thought he was kinda cool and he was like thanks i never get compliments, and then my dumb ass made that into teasing him again and now he is basically saying nothing hahahhahaha but our entire conversations have been just ragging on each other so i don’t understand why he would all of a sudden care? i also don’t get why we didn’t kiss? could he be scared of me? do men at this big age still talk mad game thru text and not pull thru? so confused?
TL;DR i can’t tell if this guy is afraid of me or if he likes me or if he hates me
3 comments
ain’t gonna lie and you may not like the answer, but after my last ex of 4 years i don’t even look at any woman recently. and the thought of talking to someone new is fun but kissing them and stuff idk, feels to soon. he may be in the same boat. maybe you should ask him if there is something you did or said to make him be standoffish
Perhaps my read on this is wrong but he definitely sounds insecure and lacking maturity for a 33M. That negative self talk he has will be very unhealthy in a relationship dynamic. When you said that you didn’t notice him, it probably brought something up (perhaps a moment in time that he wasn’t noticed and wanted to be) and immediately made him retreat. If he felt unsafe (emotionally) with you, physical intimacy could be triggering so he would avoid it.
Look, it’s hard to say for sure what’s going on in his head, but here’s my take: this dude might be feeling a little insecure or unsure about making a move. Maybe he’s had bad experiences in the past, who knows? But here’s the deal – if you’re interested in him, take the lead and make the first move. Don’t wait around for him to do it because it might not happen. Be confident, go for it, and see where it takes you. Good luck!