I know that this is a pretty common issue, but we still have not found a solution and neither of us feel like we are getting what we want.
We’ve been together 2.5 years. He wants me to initiate sex, and have physical foreplay with a lot of touching and groping. I want him to give me verbal affection/affirmations to get me in the mood. He doesn’t want to do that until I give him sexual affection. I don’t want to give him sexual affection until he gives me verbal affection. We just can’t seem to find a balance.
I personally feel that I am repeatedly giving up my needs so he can have his. I remind him I need verbal affection, I give him examples of things he can say and do. He tries sometimes but he really struggles to grasp the concept of romantic verbal affection and I always have to ask for it. The most I get is usually “you’re cute” or “you’re sexy.”
3 comments
If this is the case, the sex is one sided and not mutually beneficial. If it is making you feel resentful, then you need to stop doing it and explore what works best for both of you.
he’s 36. he’s not changing. accept him or leave him. stop trying to change him.
Does he initiate at all and so those things? Or is it all on you?
Why would you find that lack of effort sexually attractive?